Somebody's going to have to pay the Iron Price for all these bad puns.

I'm underwhelmed by the Starkness of these puns.

… and neither are the "weenies!"

By George, it's a Brantastic idea!

Noooooooooodooooor!!!!

Call me a contrarian old fart who's out of touch, but how the hell is Vice, an alt publication-turned-media empire I knew very little about until recently, worth $2.5 billion?

Deeming the movie "cold" is also a fair description. I think that's why I like it so much; it's equal parts moving/touching, and ruthless/calculating. The latter definitely applies to the ending, which I really liked. But paradoxically, the "sad" ending is also uplifting, as Clooney's character comes away more…

The NFL versus vacuous pop-stars: no matter who wins, we lose.

I know 'Up In The Air' is pretty schmaltzy and is a divisive movie, but I for one love it, and not just for the final Clooney backpack monologue.

"No reverse thrust… I just need some room!" Heh.

With biting commentary like that written by Mr. Rock, these newswire's practically write themselves. In fact, O'Neal might want to watch his job. Not that Kid Rock needs it, since he can get press whenever he wants.

*sips coffee in self-satisfied manner*

The most dangerous prey, etc., etc.

Don't get me wrong. I personally refer to Rainier as "Ron-yé" on occasion. I'm fine with joking about the local flavor. And I agree it's not abhorrent a la Milwaukee's Best or something like that. And I agree re: Oly. I think it's marginally superior to Rainier as well.

A lot of folks in the Pacific Northwest drink a local shitty brew called Rainier, named for Mt. Rainier in Washington State. They ironically refer to it as "Ron-yé," giving it a faux-French sounding name to increase the irony of their ironic drinking of said shitty beer.
EDIT: @hyperbolic paranoid beat me to Rainier…

I heard about this festival ages ago and I've been saying it's a trap ever since. I'm so over it. Where have you been, Johnny Come Lately?

As usual, anonymous commenters on the internet are the only ones truly capable of investigating and revealing the truth. (*tips cap to @PugsMalone:disqus*)

Also this (NSFW lyrics, though probably implicit where any DMX-related link is concerned)
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

*gouges out eyes, wanders desert blind wearing sunglasses as penance*

I'M NOT A NICE PERSON!
I've always loved that he actually used that as a real lyric. It makes me think of all the other mundane admissions that DMX could scream in a song.
I LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP!
I CHEAT AT MONOPOLY!
I CALL SCREEN MY MOTHER!