Eli just wants his son to be successful, like legendary Temple basketball coach John Chaney.

What was she to do?  Where was she to go?  She was out on her fanny!

People who have never seen Deadwood even though they've meant to for a while suck cock by choice!

I don't know about that.  He couldn't even last an episode inside of Oswald State Correctional Facility.

The SEC isn't worth the skin off of Lester's knuckles.

"Nathan Lane" is the best song on the Pavement album Brighten the Corners.

If for no other reason than it spawned the GoodFeathers on Animaniacs.

HIMYM with Bryan Cranston might taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, because I'll never watch the filthy motherfucker.

Dude, that $433,000 "profit" barely covers the expense of having the neighbor kid come over and mow the lawn once a week for the last twenty years.

Bring back the Wiz!  Nobody beats 'em!

Ya know, Shaquille O'Neal owns like 80 Five Guys restaurants.  That's like 400 total guys!

Danny Trejo's severed head is only going for $15!

I mean, shit, everything was coming up Jack.  He drove out the desert thinking he was just holding up his end of the deal with Walt, and he leaves with 69 million dollars.  I'd be in a good mood too.

That's what's so perverted about it!

When people are concerned with getting prosthetic foreheads on the their real heads, well, that's an issue for concern.

Never should've cancelled Last Resort.  Won't somebody think of the Papa Roach fans?

I haven't thought about Grace Under Fire in years.  I always found it odd that the title character Grace was played by Dodgers lead-off man Brett Butler.

I wonder what kind of hi-jinx Cool Lester Smooth is going to get into this year!

What are three critiques of my overweight baby's hairless penis?

When are we, as a society, going to accept that the WNBA exists solely so that busloads of children at day camp can have somewhere to go at 1:15 on a Wednesday afternoon during the summer?