I was 14, and it was my turn to pick a movie for movie night; I wanted to see American Psycho, because I liked horror films, and I thought it would be like Halloween only with adults, so I picked it up at the local video store where the owner could not give two shits about the age of the person renting an R rated…

I was 14, and it was my turn to pick a movie for movie night; I wanted to see American Psycho, because I liked horror films, and I thought it would be like Halloween only with adults, so I picked it up at the local video store where the owner could not give two shits about the age of the person renting an R rated…

One of the most epic deaths of our time. Rest in peace you glorious bastard!

Anyone else think Bruce Willis looks kind of sad and desperate in that picture? Like he is aware of how he's become a real life Tugg Speedman, and he knows there is nothing he can do about it.

Wow. Anderson Cooper turning into Montel Williams; when did that happen?

Previously, I wouldn't have given Madonna jack shit, but now if the opportunity comes up, I will be giving her a huge bunch of hydrangeas. It would be hilarious if she just got loads of hydrangeas from people who hate her; I hope in rains hydrangeas on her bony fake-British ass.

They had an episode where many of the parents dressed their children up as showgirls, because the pageant took place in Vegas, so really, who didn't see this episode coming? It seems like the logical thing that would come after that; well, this or strippers, or maybe fancy escort girls.
TLC is still The Learning…

Maybe he thought nobody would notice that he put the extra "Noooooo!!" in there? Clearly that man doesn't understand Star Wars fans, or fandom in general.

Please God no one mention gypsies or that crazy traveler chick will show up and lecture us all on how inaccurate Snatch's portrayal of Irish travelers was. This thread doesn't need that.

There is a Light That Never Goes Out
I am the only person in my group of friends with my musical tastes, so I am a bit of a joke among them because my iPod and CD collection is filled with stuff they've never heard of (none of my friends know who David Bowie is, so it isn't that I listen to really obscure music, it's…

Sold!
And this time Marley will actually talk? Oh I am there!
This movie sounds great; it has all the makings of a classic, plus a really cute puppy!!! Squee!!! I think it's going to be even better than all those Air Bud movies, and it's going straight to DVD too so I can immediately own a copy of this soon-to-be…

Yuck.
I don't think I would start screaming and shaking the seats over it, but that movie does look pretty horrible; actually, it reminded me of one of those fake movies from Tropic of Thunder. It looks like a parody of a shitty Adam Sandler comedy, like every Adam Sandler movie ever condensed into one awful joke.…

More Shore Leave Please
Shore Leave has rapidly become one of my favorite characters on The Venture Bros. He is completely charming, and delightfully snarky. I once had a dream where we were roommates a la Will and Grace, only way cooler, with more guns and no Eric McCormack or Debra Messing to lame the whole thing…

Stay Classy Dustin
Saved by the Bell is the only thing Dustin Diamond has ever done, that's it, that is all. He's been on reality TV and made a porno (yikes), but only because he was Screech on SBTB; he plateaued at Screech, and that stupid show and that obnoxious character define him; he is nothing without them, and…

Really!?
When I saw the trailer for Real Steel I made a joke about it being about rock em' sock em' robots, but I was kidding! Are you telling me that this movie is for real based on/inspired by that toy? Oh sweet Lord, that is awful; that is like some guy watching the Transformers movies while stoned, and then…

Buffalo Balls
Once you've had people eating broiled animal genitals there is pretty much nowhere else you can take that. The very last episode of Fear Factor I ever tuned into had people trying to choke down buffalo balls; they were freaking huge, so even if you weren't completely disgusted by the fact that you were…

Tolerance = Leftist Propaganda…apparently
Shame on leftist propaganda for teaching kids to be tolerant! Okay, so to be fair there should be an episode of Sesame Street where all the characters get together to harass Bert and Ernie for being gay, and then they can get a bunch of guns and hunt down Big Bird and…

Bachelor/ette Season nth
I vote for the AV club's solution; cut through all the crap and randomly pick a contestant to be the winner, then slap both their pictures on the cover of a trashy magazine with the tagline Bachelor/Bachelorette Shocker!
I am insulted that the people who make this show still expect people to…

Yikes
When exactly did TLC switch over from decorating shows and 'What Not to Wear' to the current sideshow of humanity that makes up most of its programming today? I realize it hasn't been Trading Spaces for a really long time now, but I feel like most of my guilty pleasure reality TV watching comes from TLC now;…

So…this pancake sandwich, what is that? Like a sandwich made out of pancakes? What kind of sandwich? Damn that sounds good.