Uwe Bowl Like You Make Movies meaning you put on ugly shoes and check in with a grizzled old guy and at the end of the day get only around 32% of the highest possible score at your activity of choice whether it be bowling or movie-making.

Senor Frogs Ta-Key-Lime Pie

No, they didn't cancel it cuz Lena Dunhams mom is an arter and drew a picture of Judd Apatow getting a hysterectomy performed by Brian Williams on top of the desks in Glengary Glenross while Bad Company played Feel Like Makin Love in the background and it sold for 69 mil dollars and was bought by Larry David and now…

You sure are obsessed with being regular!

Hey I also dont like stuff that has people in it who got the job cuz they know other people in it. This is why I cant stand Kevin Bacon, that dude knows everyone!

Cant see a pile of italian ballz soup in a xmas episode of the Sopranos in my viewfinders after I eat a grapefruit. Those things squirt more than Cory Matthews the day he went to the mall and saw Topanga comin outta the Fortunoff dressing room wearin a blue bikini she got for Herman Stecchinos family vacation down to…

Endildoenpenised.

How do the girlz feel about looking at you?

Where'd you get poopcanned??

I'm liking these two cuz as I've gotten older I like books and people and flour and wheels and buttons and plastic and pages and coins and spikes less but limes and bourbon more and I need more things to like, so next time I go out and the waiters all "So what would you like?" I'll be all "I'm liking this comment, and…

Holy daffodildo I just woke up, went to Mars Bar last night after the Shins concert got into this convo with some Brit and he acutally knew Milly Dowler and is all friggin out cuz they havent found her yet, this articles ok but they just put up the Neutral Milk Hotel review and wtf omg, idk why English people always…

Well usually if I'm gonna spin some dirty jerz it's gonna be Trixter.

What we talk about when even The Boss is on the cover of the AV Club…

The closest me and Bri come to a mutual orgasm is when he meets me at the restaurant with my parents and I realize he's not wearing a long sleeve Hawaiin shirt and he realizes theres a burger option even tho itz ethnic cuisine.

NO penis the closest I come to a euphimism is..ok fine you can put your annoying rod in me but you have 3 min 49 sec cuz the DVR is full of every episode of any show that has the word 'sauce' in it and I have to watch Person of Interest cuz I'd like to know what itz like to live with such a person, so hurry up lets…

I think Regis should play him.

Hey itz not my fault you guys don't like cottage cheese stuffed bananas wrapped in fried liverwurst.

Polka has also taken a similar downhill turn for the worst. We used to just hang around some goats, tap on the accordian and slurp down some goulash and salami. But these days Elliot Gould is always comin by with Ray Winstone and ruining things. Last time they brought Candyland and put it down in the middle of the…

It's past your bedtime Mr. I spazzed when they asked me to pick a username and typed random words in my social studies textbook.

Idk I'm always the same EJ. People just get sick of me if I hang around too long. But last time I sold my comp went on a bender and ended up mostly in Karaoke barz in Phillipines last time, so cross yer royal fingers.