I hope Liam Neeson throat punches a lot of people.

John Tesh and Mary Hart!

My title suggestion was better: Somali Swashbucklers of the Saharan Sea

What's next?  
A furious masturbation scene that starts with "You're in good hands with AllState" and ends with "Good things come to those who wait."Followed by a cigarette and "Mentos, the freshmaker!" for no good reason.

Liked for TWO tennis puns.

Your friend was generous not to toss you into a wood chipper.

There's "persons" here?  I thought all of these comments were generated by electronic, drunken goblins…

We're doomed?
We're saved?

(Said with a faux English accent)

[POOPS (British-style)]

And Donald Sutherland as the waiter who falls into a cake.

No, that's LBJ.  He didn't care for people of color.

I read "Britpoop."

"Awright, let's shoot this fucker!"
"Right!  Now someone tell me what the hell we are doing."
"Dinosaurs!  Special effects!  Screaming!  Roll camera, goddammit!"

Get them drunk on everclear and introduce them to heroin.

Chris Tucker!

Wrinkles!

@avclub-7f538a2a6877984c16a663af38fb84d3:disqus  - I thought your handle was about something totally different.

Hopefully the dragon is voiced by Sean Connery!

I use this line when my kids eat too fast.  Or some paraphrased version, "Hey, what are you?  A duck?  Chew your food!"