If by "long term," you mean longer than 78 seconds in a truck stop bathroom, then you are correct.

Doomsday device? Aha! Now the ball's in Farnsworth's court.

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some kind of cruel muslin. And the cute little pom-pom pull ropes, cruel though they may be…

You stole my avatar!

"it’s a countdown of the top 10 weddings featuring Bravo reality show personalities."

That's not good news!
Looks like I'll have to dig up one of my Doomsday devices.

Step one: Mute.
Step two: Fap.

I love it when they think that they're cool or are entitled because of their celebrity status.

I thought by "redecorating her condo," you meant to get her pregnant, because, you know, a womb is like a little home, and it's currently empty, and then when you get her pregnant it isn't empty anymore.  Something like that.

Pffft…his ex-wife's face is yet scarier…

Can you believe that's his "Oh-face?"

I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT!!!

I just watched a few Burn Notice episodes with him in it.  He seems to fit in well anywhere.  
Also, he's awesome in Platoon.

Weird, I read it to Meow Mix.

Had a lot of stuff to do this weekend, so I only had time for one movie.  Don't fret, I made it a good one: Bridge on the River Kwai.  A fantastic epic with beautiful scenery and a great story.  Alec Guinness is so calm and collected, until the very end and I feel like he has a strong presence without being over the…

Seriously.  All they play is out-of-date reruns, anyway.

Have you tried striking your coworker?  Striking works.

@avclub-3be42d8a3412057f79af152555e39bd4:disqus  - Apparently, a Growler in England is an unshorn nether-region on a lady.  So…pretty funny.

@avclub-33beffd09a1b020d1187c6b4b264014a:disqus  - See, I kept thinking, "Suspect is hatless, repeat suspect is hatless."

@avclub-4602fc349ffc0ad649190e937f2a5f14:disqus  - By flaming, I meant on fire, like a Flaming Dr. Pepper or Flaming Moe.
Really, it should be Creme de Menthe floating on Guinness, into which you drop a flaming shot of 151 full of Pop Rocks.