You should cut down the bad beer and red meat.

23 minutes (without commercials) of him farting, drinking cheap rum, and fucking fat chicks.

It was him!  Get 'im, boys!

"eyes," huh?

@avclub-f121d09285898f1c66d66f1e6f0455a6:disqus  - Sorry.  I meant gosh.  I fixed it.  These old eyes don't work so well.  Jerk.

It's a type of shoe.

Ok, ok.  Gosh, you guys don't have to gang up on an old man…jeez.

Or domestic violence.  Wait.  What?

@avclub-afe5f98c20cf687d62bdccb6e2b8f136:disqus "holy shit was this movie racist against Asians, for some reason" - It's because they complain the least when racism flies in their direction.  Easy target, with almost no chance of trouble.

Pitch Perfect 2 - Death to the B Sharps!!

"seen strippers burst into tears unprompted" - do you usually have to prompt them?  
"$15 for a lap dance, $20 if you want me to cry during."

I started to like Clive Owen after I got my hands on the BMW films.  If you haven't seen them, do.  Short films by renowned directors featuring BMWs in some way or another, usually a chase.

I read the book years ago, but have yet to see the film for fear of disappointment.

Quiet, you!

No, just really quick.

AV Club

Pffffffftt…who even buys DVDs anymore?  Pretty soon, they will disappear into the realm of LaserDisc and BetaMax, followed by BluRay, all being replaced by streaming-only, cloud-based, non-owned, non-tangible, invisible bytes hurtling towards our eyes at breakneck speeds.

HipsterDBaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggg!!

You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?

@avclub-e57f718840a576abbb40a7d046c4e3b0:disqus  - Did it really?  I must be getting sclerotic in my old age…