Jeeez.  When I was 13 (20 or so years ago), I used to buy cigarettes for my friends because I looked older.
A few months back, I got carded at a movie theater.  Really clamping down on the important stuff.

Racism.

Hey.  Good for him.  He needs a paycheck.

I used to be with it, but then they changed what *it* was. Now what I'm with isn't *it*, and what's *it* seems weird and scary to me.

Hitler was Austrian!

I'm seeing 4 O'Neals!

That's what she said!

Boy read byline good.

Now, can she explain what's going on in 90s-me's pants?

Wait.  Eminem gave you blowjob?

If I woke up from a coma this morning to this news, I would say "Good night" and die.

Road House?  Sure I do.  She was in that?

No.  Just shitty.

Get out the hallway!  Some people are trying to sleep!

"I was like, nah, man, nah…I gotta be the lead and torpedo your movie.  Also, my kids gotta be in it.  Also, you gotta take out all of the swearing.  Also, I gotta write the title track."

"Who are you again?"
"I'm Darth…um…shit…I had this…"

Star Kid!!

His hand would have to go much, much lower…

Is that a stutter?

Why couldn't he just say, "I don't have a fucking clue" and be done with it.  Enough with the yap-yap, get on with the action-cut, dammit!