"Ok, so..parents please put your babies in this box with the live coyote.  Now, let's see what you think about their survival chances.  Right after this message from AllState"

As for the pulled pork:  I typically brine a pork butt for at least a day.  The brine usually has some other seasonings, like cumin and black pepper.  I have a nice big pan that I'll use to brown the butt.  Once browned, it is removed and the drippings are used to saute shallots, onions, garlic, a few hot peppers.…

I made some tasty lamb chops slathered in Indian spices.  They were sauteed with onions, shallots, and garlic.  Side of brown rice.  Yum.
This weekend, though I grilled up a nice organic london broil with a dijon/pepper marinade I put together.  A side of duck fat roasted new potatoes.
Then cheese.  Much cheese.

This deserves the praise and recognition.
All of it.

Don't worry, alcohol kills bacteria…

Seriously.  Keri Russell and foreplay in the same paragraph is just…well, you get the idea…

Also, what you have written would be EFOM phonetically and it would not make any sense.

Мама я хотел ебать = Mom I'd like to Fuck

This does annoy the shit out of me.  Happens all the time.  I haven't watched this show, but this type of stuff really gets me fired up.

Ha!

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ, that is just awesome.
Thank you.  I laughed and cried.  At work.  While my boss walked by.

Ray Liotta could make it as a gulag torturer and labor "organizer."

"Ok, get the fucking things out of the closet and get them to the dry cleaner" - Casting call for Muppets movie

Should have said "former roommate."  Second cousin is too close of an association.

Hopefully you are posting from prison, as you had surely must have beaten them viciously.

Caption contest:

You mean Best Buy CLOSINGS, right?

Never!  There are also different people in the tubes and different ads in the main sequence from season to season!

Except that they make an excuse for The Simpsons as the chalkboard and couch gags bookend the standard opening.  This is the same case for Futurama, the joke is at the beginning, followed by the standard opening, ending with the cartoon.

Futurama?  Different slogans at the bottom of the screen and different "old-time" cartoons on the jumbotron into which the ship crashes.