I think it'll be Rey trying to steal his flashlight and his candy bar.

It had more to tease, since it was introducing new characters and a new status quo. Unlike this teaser (or movie) it didn't have a specific question it needed to answer.

That is good to know, although it makes Rogue One's development feel even more schizophrenic.

If the Phantom Menace taught us anything, it's that you still have a shot with the girl you were in love with when you were eight years old, so long as you're creepy enough toward her when you're older. So keep your hair greasy and work on that leer!

It's the fifth annual Imperial Cropduster Pod Race!

"The number of rocks in my pile has doubled since the last time we met, Count…"

I'm thinking rocks as well, but it occurs to me: didn't Chewie go with her to Planet Ireland? I'm kinda wondering if Chewbacca's just going to be hanging out on the Falcon while Rey and Luke have what looks like at least a few weeks' worth of training scenes.

That's the power of the trailer, though, isn't it? Because Jyn never really is that much of a hardass in the movie, and I tend to think any impression I had of her being all that tough is just a residual effect from having seen that trailer too many times.

I really wanted the movie Rogue One touched on being for about 15-20 minutes of its run time: not really a war film, more like Army of Shadows in the Star Wars universe. I liked Rogue One a lot, but it felt like they lost their nerve while trying to tell a story about what it's like to rebel against an all-powerful…

She's going to a clone of Luke they made from his severed hand? That's…bold.

But Luke just said he doesn't want to join the Jedi Initiative!

Being a "beloved camp classic" mainly works if you go in knowing how bad the movie's going to be (and how they're going to be bad). When I saw Batman and Robin in the theater—expecting it to be stupid in the way that Batman Forever was, but fun—it was the worst movie I'd ever seen. It was just so much worse than…

Please demonstrate the proper way to drop a tank out of a plane.

Seriously, though: the entire first page of the "So, You've Been Hired to Work on X-Men" instructional manual just says "DON'T FUCK WITH KITTY PRYDE." Syaff had one fuckin' job, and he couldn't keep his anti-semitism in his pocket long enough to do it. You can slip Quran verses into the backgrounds of your comics all…

"I never said which gender the virgins would be, or that they wouldn't be flabby, smelly, and covered with Cheeto dust. Enjoy!"

You know that shit's not up to code!

Actually, Chicago Aviation Security isn't Chicago PD—at least not as of last month, when the city was debating bringing them into CPD so that they could be armed (kinda hoping they voted against that now).

The craziest thing about this (to me) is that the last time I flew United out of Chicago, I was seated across the aisle from a guy who was clearly emotionally disturbed. He got to his seat, saw the overhead compartment above his seat was full, and flew into a rage, shouting at the rest of the plane's passengers "Whose…

Actually (and Snyder hasn't the sense of humor for this) but it would work if they let Asner dub over the 20-something-year-old model's voice.

Even beyond the self-awareness angle, I'd hazard that the egotistical incentive for pleasuring others is probably universal. A long time ago, I spent a few months taking a medication that had an inability to orgasm as one of its side effects. It was a little frustrating, but after talking it over with my doctor I just…