She's been a teenager since 1983, so I definitely think we're out of statutory rape territory.

But she's the Dagger in this scenario. So, y'know…pegging, if you're into that.

His midi-chlamydian count is off the charts! Do you really believe it, Master? That this boy, with his itching pubic hair and unsightly penile discharge, could be the Chosen One?

I always assumed that them Hollywood folk was going around completely shaved down there!

I'm rather glad that Hollywood is finally acknowledging Sex Hair. It kind of throws me off in movies when people are supposedly having these big, showy, near-violent sex romps, and at the end of it, they're smoking in bed and their hair is completely undisturbed. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I can barely kiss a woman…

Was he on first-name terms with Sheev Palpatine?

My apologies, then? I'll admit that I liked both Rogue One and Godzilla (the former more than the latter), although in both cases there's something that keeps me from fully engaging with the story. In Godzilla, it's obviously the fact that the main character is (intentionally, I thought) a cypher, an ant operating in…

It's an industry that's in a constant search for fungibly handsome white guys.

Someone used Tarkin's first name in Rogue One? I think if you know that, it's for reasons that have nothing to do with Garreth Edwards.

Tucker Carlson suggests yes, but that might've just been conservative men trying to make Megyn Kelly feel bad for jumping ship.

That picture makes it look like she went to a plastic surgeon and said "Give me a Jennifer Garner."

I somehow managed to watch the concert film before getting it on LP. I basically ran straight from the theater to the record store. Man, I hope the estate somehow manages to get that re-released on region 1 DVD or Blu-Ray.

It can be Prince's greatest album (which I think probably is) without being his last great one. There's a lot of room to slip from SotT and still be great.

Why is there a lightbulb somewhere between his navel and his crotch?

When people claim that someone's the "Greatest [fill in the blank] Alive" they're talking about that person's whole body of work, not how well their latest work stacks up with the most recent competition. In any case you're misquoting the article, since he called Woo "the greatest action director of all time."

Directors who aren't white men frequently get blamed for big budget bombs. Many of them seem to work on a one-strike-you're-out basis.

The one action series that leverages a similar sentimentality (in a very Americanized way) is the Fast and the Furious series, largely (I suspect) thanks to the influence of Justin Lin. There's definitely a market for more emotional action fare in the U.S. (as I think Logan's success shows) but I think American…

The article specifies that it's the only time he got to do "full on John Woo shit" with a big American budget. Now, MI:2 has some John Woo shit in it—Cruise apparently liked Woo's use of doves, and there's some trace of Woo's themes in the doppelganger relationship between Ethan Hunt and Dougray Scott's character,…

I love Clerks, but I have a hard time making a case for it as embodying the 90s. From a filmmaking perspective, it's not one of those films that inspired dozens of imitators. As a time capsule of the period, the only moment in that film that really makes me think about the 90s is the roller hockey, which was kinda…

I'll hear no insults against Defensive End Howie Long in Broken Arrow. He's damn close to the platonic ideal of what a chief henchman in an action movie should be—physically impressive, has a couple of nice moments, but doesn't distract from the main bad guy, dies spectacularly. Who's the underboss who outperforms…