"They flag one of yours as inappropriate, you send one of theirs to the morgue!"

More like "Rot in hell, you fucking involuntary manslaughterer with a traumatic brain injury."

At least that's one thing the Star Wars universe has always gotten right. "Hey! You guys! Protip: if you want to destroy a planet, that laser beam has got to point down! You're doing it wrong!"

That was kind of the point, though, wasn't it? Because of his helo accident, Ryan's Marine career got cut short, and he wound up an academic instead. It works in Red October because Baldwin's Ryan has to be condescended to by every military man he meets (except for Greer). If he looked ex-military, you don't have the…

What part do you think is so good that we can divorce Bay from its creation? It's not a great script (it's got one really good idea in making it kind of a spiritual sequel to the Connery Bond films, but that's it). It's got nice performances from Cage and Connery, but that's not exactly out of line with other Bay…

You didn't like the castle fight that precedes the car chase? That was some beautiful choreography, and the way that fight flowed into the car chase was the closest the Matrix sequels came to simulating the rhythm of the stacked action sequences in the original's climax.

Mission: Impossible made great use of the patina of CIA sliminess that still covered Czerny after that role. The fact that he'd played the slimy, corrupt CIA guy before was key to the head-fake that made it seem like Czerny was the villain of M:I.

I kinda want Matrix: Reloaded to beat Bad Boys II and even Kill Bill v1 for 2003. The first Matrix sequel has great action (it's a lot like Kill Bill where all the action is in the first movie and then the second is disappointing as a result), except for the one immensely-hyped set piece, the "Burly Brawl." Matrix…

The action in the Kill Bill series was heavily weighted to Volume 1. Volume 2 only really has the one great action scene, the trailer fight with Daryl Hannah.

As an action movie? I like the movie, but Patriot Games is basically a spy drama with a couple of fistfights thrown in. Clear & Present Danger had better action.

The artist wants Superman to be floating in the air with his arms crossed, cool as a cucumber. What he drew is Superman hugging himself, which is not a very badass pose, at all.

Seriously, you know Ailes has spent all day telling people "See? I told you my dick was the only thing holding that place together!"

I think your memory's not good. "Shortly into W's term" was actually "two years into his second term." In the first six years of W's term, F-news met propaganda goals—such as making torture popular with the American public—that no one could've anticipated when Bush was elected in 2000.

Funny how I'm the intolerant one and you're the one calling her a whore.

That part always trips me up. Al shot a kid because it looked like he had a real ray gun? Did he think the kid was gonna get away by transporter beam, too?

Alas, Keith Olbermann's insane Twitter meltdown to end all meltdowns would be indistinguishable from any other day he spends on Twitter. The guy melts down easier than provolone.

She had one testy exchange with him, then gave him a tongue bath of an interview, and held her peace on more serious stuff until after he was elected president (and she could make a buck off it). That's some "punishment" right there.

This isn't Democrats, it's news outlets (the fact we sometimes don't distinguish between these is a big part of the reason Trump can just make up his own facts and no one cares).

Well, it is a bit like your boss forcing you to live at the site of a horrible workplace accident that mutilated you. So, kinda badass?

Yeah, the surprise would be if his pad was a three-bedroom condo in Boca Raton.