It's like a game of Civilization where you're in such a rush to invent tanks and nukes you forget things on the technology tree like "Alphabet" and "networked computers."

I tried out Chapo Trap House's post-election episode because it was an AV Club recommendation, and it was really disappointing. They started with mea culpas for getting the election wrong then did a 180 to a full-on Bernie Bros circle jerk about how everybody else is idiots except them. There was only one funny moment…

2016 even killed Pan Pan, the Panda.

Cheap as I am—and biased toward physical media, as well—$5 for Tarantino's 2nd-worst film is still pretty good. Physical media copies cost more than double of that, and a digital rental of the movie will probably run you $4. From my perspective, that's paying an extra dollar to get unlimited access to that rental.

It's not impossible, just really hard. The adapter would have to find things in the story of a GTA game that distinguish it from the various sources it's imitating. A lot of GTA is parody of that source material, so that might be an angle. GTA could be the rare property that would work as a meta-narrative, since so…

"You mean the Phantoms are ghosts?!?"

Self-mockery and meta-narrative actually work very poorly in video game adaptations. A number of video game adaptations have winks and nods to the game's conventions or limitations, and those mostly go over like a lead balloon.

You had one job, 2016! Well, two jobs if you count not killing all my favorite artists along with not allowing Trump to be president.

This. So very much this.

Actually, right now there is no line of succession past Hatch, since the cabinet members Trump has picked haven't actually been officially put forward. If all 4 of the President-elect, VP-elect, Speaker and President Pro Tempore were to go down between now and the inauguration, the solution would probably be for the…

So you're requesting President Orrin Hatch? Probably a better pick than the other three for a Republican president, still no day at the beach.

Then again, a lot of that's probably about the pining friend being a woman, and a woman who looks like Mary Stuart Masterson in her prime, rather than looking like Jon Cryer at his most awkward.

No insult to your ideas, but this is not a high bar to clear. Finally saw Suicide Squad and man, was that not good.

More importantly, there are chemical tests to detect accelerants like the ones used in flame throwers.

Is there a court scene? I only remember Senate testimony. So a more appropriate title for the movie might've been: S. 2993: A Bill to Amend to the Batman Fights Superman Dawn of Justice Act of 2016.

What were the other two movies?

I heard about that (and it provides a little background for the subplot with KGBeast being all hot to flamethrower Martha Kent to death), but it still doesn't work, does it? Was there a Lexcorp crew there to pick up all the shell casings, and dig up every single one of the thousands of rounds they expended in that…

Yeah, it's hard to recover when your movie's broken right from the start. It's not like this incident just goes away after the first ten minutes—it's supposedly the big reason that Superman is distrusted, and then goes through his Supermanly duties for the rest of the movie as if they're a screening of The Sorrow and…

Sounds like they should've split the movie in two, and called that first hour Suicide Squad: Dawn of Self-Harm.

That's quite a statement, considering that BvS was cut so poorly that the movie's inciting incident (the scene in Africa) makes no friggin' sense. Yeah, the world would really buy that Superman committed a massacre in Africa, by shooting a bunch of people. Because the real danger of a guy who's indestructible, can…