Idk, sounds like a job for Joe Estevez.

Happy baby is her favorite yoga pose!

I think Jen unconsciously wishes she died in New York on 9/11 and that misplaced guilt, while good for comedy, has completely wrecked her emotionally.

Anytime I'm about to blame Hong Kong for something, I ask myself "Can I blame the British for this as well?" The answer is usually yes.

Except for the Crimean War. Golly that was a good war for capers.

Your posts are a hate crime. I sure as shit hate them.

"Hi! My name is BUZZ!"

That's some beautiful prose right there.

Blessed are the Hitachi Wand makers.

And possible John Stamos means guaranteed half-mast!

Well I guess they could say yes but only on the stipulation that all the crazy demands in the contract (like a private 1 hour talk sesh with John Malkovich before taking stage, for instance) must be met or they won't play. And then every one of the artists' contracts are just full of unrealistic demands. Would that…

"Tough to behold but ultimately alright." Story of my life.

Wait till you hear me butcher it on my uke!

That's the appeal; there are a lot of fucking goobers out there. ;)

Whaddya mean can Charlie Hunnan act? Someone hasn't seen Undeclared!

A picture last longer than a Pynchon paragraph? Unlikely!

Seeing everybody get really mad realizing this is a real quote makes it fucking hilarious. You're killing me, guys.

Dammit, Matthew, why didn't you run for president instead? We would've put you in in a landslide, baby!

I'd rather renew my commitment to cannabis than initiate one with Seeso.

She's laser-focused.