Well that settles it: I'm now definitely on the fence about finishing this third spicy chicken club. Good thing I got two frosties.

Sounds like my mom—I mean A mom. Some mom. Any mom, really. There are just so many moms, you know?

Great Job Internet is a flat circle.

The A.V. Club:

Ballot box?

He probably also has a cancerous tumor in his throat whispering sweet Illuminati nothings to him.

"It's bad out there, folks. Oh it's bad, you know? Everywhere you look, it's bad, bad, really bad stuff! You can't believe it! When you see this bad stuff you can't believe! Awful awful. Even the AOL guy! Remember the AOL guy? 'You Have an E-mail!' Remember this guy? It's so bad out there he's driving people around!…

Cost of living is high here in DC but we're definitely not without options: I got a pizza joint 4 blocks away that makes "better than Domino's" and costs about 30% more, but I also have an authentic Neopolitan pizzaria 7 blocks away in the other direction on the same street that makes "best in the city and which…

My Dinner With Eric Andre was much different.

And then there was Giuliani just screaming "AMERICA!" overs and over and over.

I mean, I've read Kitchen Confidential and while I don't remember this particular passage, it does not surprise me. Nor does it bother me cause GARLIC CAN AND SHOULD BE CHOPPED A VARIETY OF WAYS DEPENDING ON THE APPLICATION regardless of what any TV Tony says. I like Bourdain's program but have known for years that…

I mean, he's a former junkie covered in tats who loves to drop references to punk bands, loves to shit on the shit people love, and refuses to move out of NYC even though it makes him more bitter and takes months off his life every year he stays there. He is THE hipster.

You'd be surprised how much black vermouth one can spill whilst trying to dash across the room to answer the phone with one's pants around my ankles. Would you be surprised, though?

Well as of a year ago he was stinking up some poor town in Holland where all the farmers are losing their jobs because of Hillary or something fun like that.

Jeffrey Wright's IMDB bio also starts suspiciously:

Fitting since none of us are born until we die. Is Jesus just a metaphor? Probably. Am I going spark this bowl? You betcha.

Assange has been in the embassy sine 2014. If he had stood trial in Sweden and been convicted of rape, he probably would've only served four years and he'd be getting out right about now. Plus I think the amenities in Sweden prison are better than the Ecuadorian embassy in London.

Long Way Round and Long Way Down are two British series he did with his buddy where they motorbiked across Europe and Russia and then down from Scotland to South Africa. I liked those far more than any acting he's ever done.

SWVRCHES

Bold stance. I like it, you got gumption, kid!