I'll sing you a poem of a silly young king
Who played with the world at the end of a string,
But he only loved one single thing—
And that was just a peanut-butter sandwich.

Dallas remake? Seriously?
They should've just resurrected Lone Star from its early grave. That would, of course, be a miracle…

Nah nah, Todd does the alt-text.

"rrrrRRRRRrrr!!!"

I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.

"If I were a cartoon wolf, my eyes would be popping out of my head right now, and I'd be levitating from the ground. But I'm not, so I will simply say that Rebecca Mader is a nice looking woman with a fine head of red hair."

Us.

The moment! It burrrns!!!

See? Now you're starting to think outside the…Borders.

Anna and Hannah
Yearn for banana.

The Funky Flood File.

Makes me feel funny.

Yay!

I see London, I see France

Spatchcocking!!!
Hey, sport, has the glass in your oven window shattered recently but you want to continue cooking whole chickens? Then worry not, dear friend, because you're about to learn all about SPATCHCOCKING!!!

Southie accents?

Whole Foods? More like Whole Paycheck! Amiright?!?

There is no confusion
You always have breakfast when you wake up, no matter what time it is. If you're so desperate for lunch, make yourself a egg-and-breakfast-meats sandwich, or better yet, eat your breakfast foodstuffs, wait an hour, and go get some lunch, cause if you're waking up at noon, chances are you're hung…

YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Sometimes, there's a man…