I don't wanna do the dishes, dad! I hate youuuuuuuuuu!
[chuggah chuggunk]
[turntable scratches]
My allowance is never enooooouuuuuughhhhh!!!!

Cue "I promise to my wife AAAAAAAAND childrenn…."

Client: Please help me, I've got nowhere else to turn. I believe my family has been kidnapped by Samoan terrorists and forced back to our home country in order to blackmail me into divulging my secret powers!

I would like a one-way ticket to Cokeporn Island, please.
No, I will not be storing any bags.

A kid I knew in high school got the "No Fear" logo on his leg as a senior tattoo. This was 1996. Safe to say, he has not experienced fear ever since.

"You're gonna fuck my wife??"

Nah, he'll just stir fry it in his wok next time around.

Anybody that fucks Sajack deserves whatever they get.

The sheer amount of mentions for Kanye West's latest makes me feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Yes, and I fear we all produced the actions that forced this unfortunate conclusion. Up in here. We should've taken his temperature, as it was obviously high enough for one to lose the coolness needed for adequate participation in society. I feel awful.

Thank you from the future, MPBC. That made for an interesting fun-read at work and dissolved a few otherwise mundane minutes.

I read on a cable news ticker the other day that DMX was admitted into a mental institution of some kind. Surely that would fill the January quota for "DMX be crazy" newswires. Shirley.

Gulliver's Travels Up His Mother's Ass

Rob Letterman's "A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court"

Bleeding Gums Murphy would suck, I suppose.

No choice would be a bad one, really.

My brother met one of the original artists on the show one night at work (restuarant), forget his name, but this particular gentleman signed portraits of everybody's favorite Simpson's character as a thank you for their hospitality. I still have no idea which character I would choose if I were given the same…

LIPPS: Spy Assassin

I figured that was Rumor Willis.

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