So far it still sounds better than Elizabeth Moss' attempt at Kiwi-speak in "Top of the Lake" (which looks like a great show that I'll have to slog through thanks to the aforementioned accent).

YouTube comments make me remember how, when you're a bored teenager going to school, every year probably feels like a decade, and 2012 was a vastly different year for you than 2011. It also reminds me how that feeling decreases exponentially as you get older, until the years start blending into each other like hours…

The way women are judged is intensely problematic. We need to leave patriarchy out of our righteous judgment of pandering pop stars who've never been ugly a day in their life, and crazy comedians who've spread deathly propaganda. Otherwise, we paint them as a victim, and god knows we don't need more millionaires…

What Sharknado really says about us is that we all love cracking jokes about bad movies, just not when everyone's doing it.

Fantastic stuff, often the best things about some pretty mediocre sketches.

I read somewhere that Russia thinks all our Hollywood attempts at faking an accent are fucking awful and hilarious at best - except for Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises," whose accent they accepted as merely believable.

I keep wondering if she's going to reach a market saturation of gorgeous male celebrities she plows through - at some point, won't girls stop cheering her on to fuck every single one of their idols if she's just gonna break up with them and complain about it in song?

Maybe young girls, thrust into an intensely brutal social structure like high school, don't want to identify with someone who's ugly, Brian Posehn. And if they do, they sure as hell don't want to get their pop music from that person. Even Pink was actually an underwear model before she became a popstar - really,…

Taylor Swift's ability to simultaneously market herself as a pretty elfin rainbow lake princess AND an unrequited-lovestruck hopeless high school loser, all while being a 6-foot supermodel who's been a songwriting millionaire since 16, is pretty genius.

You're not really sure if American Beauty's faux-philosophizing is a put-on for the entire movie, until they commit at the end with the voiceover and the shot of Wes Bentley and his saintly eyebrows accepting Spacey's death with an abundance of Zen. In that shot, it becomes clear we're meant to align our perceptions…

What's funny is how they're almost refusing to realize that America is fat, America loves her, and she is a big-time fucking movie star supreme.

I was also informed that Ugly Betty had a trans character, but was that played by an actual trans person?

I prefer American Pie Presents National Lampoon's Disney's The Kid Rock, starring Kid Rock as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Disney's The Kid and Kid Rock as Disney's The Kid

Because I'm still excited enough by movies to want to see some of them the second they come out, and I live in a town where there are plenty of quality theaters with a minimum of shitty kids and bright cell phone screens.

Here's the thing: Bad indies become straight-to-DVD dumping piles that you scroll past on Redbox. Bad blockbusters…go straight to the fucking theaters still, 3,000 theaters, full speed ahead, because oh shit we put all this money into it let's just see what happens.

This is the kind of 80's-90's Oscar/Sundance-bait that Tarantino came in and wiped off the map, like grunge killing hair metal.

Aw, poor James Mangold. He churns out respectable fare like 3:10 to Yuma (it can't touch the original, but c'mon folks, it's pretty well done), he winds up delivering a movie that is head-shoulders-knees-and-toes above the last shitty Wolverine movie, and all he gets for it is "I wish a real director like Aronofsky…

Hell, the Donnie Darko Director's Cut, even.

Come on guys, the worst non-Around-the-Sun song from REM is clearly "Stand."

Hollywood.