@avclub-33235e3d066bad95b6eea457826f7507:disqus Nope, but they are great for tearing apart raw animals when I hunt them down in the forest.

@avclub-33235e3d066bad95b6eea457826f7507:disqus Nope, but they are great for tearing apart raw animals when I hunt them down in the forest.

That'd be my girlfriend, Maria! And also, she's British. But I will phrase all of this as a compliment, so it's all good.

That'd be my girlfriend, Maria! And also, she's British. But I will phrase all of this as a compliment, so it's all good.

Thanks! I'm really glad people are pointing out that I have terrifying, weird teeth. I did not know that before and now I do :)

Thanks! I'm really glad people are pointing out that I have terrifying, weird teeth. I did not know that before and now I do :)

Hey guys, full disclosure: I made this video and am really surprised it gained any traction online, particularly enough to make it to the only website I ever go to and comment on.

Hey guys, full disclosure: I made this video and am really surprised it gained any traction online, particularly enough to make it to the only website I ever go to and comment on.

Nah, he's way too unique and genuine. I prefer my life-affirming pop in the form of incredibly cynical, calculated, trend-fucking Eurosynth for club-worshipping assholes.

Nah, he's way too unique and genuine. I prefer my life-affirming pop in the form of incredibly cynical, calculated, trend-fucking Eurosynth for club-worshipping assholes.

It could go both ways honestly, because while Death is icky, with this song it's couched in the Theme Supreme of the last 4 years of pop music: "We are young, tonight is all that matters, let's just celebrate our youth and have fun." And it's paired up with currently-unbeatable Eurosynth and an acoustic guitar hook…

It could go both ways honestly, because while Death is icky, with this song it's couched in the Theme Supreme of the last 4 years of pop music: "We are young, tonight is all that matters, let's just celebrate our youth and have fun." And it's paired up with currently-unbeatable Eurosynth and an acoustic guitar hook…

No offense, but I know why Sony made the movie and I still believe in a beautiful, silly world where that's just not a reason to make a movie. Fuck them, it was a horrible piece of shit and the very definition of "inessential."

No offense, but I know why Sony made the movie and I still believe in a beautiful, silly world where that's just not a reason to make a movie. Fuck them, it was a horrible piece of shit and the very definition of "inessential."

NBC: The channel that the TV is not turned to in the old folks' home break room.

NBC: The channel that the TV is not turned to in the old folks' home break room.

The latest Spider-Man movie had no reason to exist. Zero, none. If Honey Boo-Boo's show ALSO has no reason to exist, fine, but that places them at equal level.

The latest Spider-Man movie had no reason to exist. Zero, none. If Honey Boo-Boo's show ALSO has no reason to exist, fine, but that places them at equal level.

The Raid was fucking nuts. Easily the best hand-to-hand combat I've seen all year, a few really great stunts, and certainly some of the most punishing violence I've seen in a non-horror film.

The Raid was fucking nuts. Easily the best hand-to-hand combat I've seen all year, a few really great stunts, and certainly some of the most punishing violence I've seen in a non-horror film.