The gay community should start a campaign to show up at all the WBC protests and just start gay-kissing and gay-hugging all of them all the while saying "We Looooooooooove You!"

Kirk's mom is the only thing on my busy fucking schedule.

Done.

De Niro and Willis both seem to have permanent "I am utterly out of patience with this world and everyone in it" looks of exasperation on their faces.

Agent: You said you were tired of action films.
Bruce: GIMME DA CASSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!
Agent: That's a very nice hat, Bruce.
Bruce: TAKE IT! I DON'T NEED IT!

James Who.

No, it's when you can't stop bleeding.
Must've been some awfully sharp pillows.

I loathe "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", but love "The Alphabet Song".
I think that means there's something very wrong with me  — other than the fact I've been dead for almost 400 years.

That was more or less my point.

OK then, how about trying to decide which song to manually fade out early to fit a 52 minute album on one side of a 100?

Between vinyl, CD and mp3 — quality, portability and ease of use is covered. There is nothing cassettes do better than a combination of these and there is no longer any reason for them to exist, other than nostalgia. And irritating hipster contrarianism.

All this proves is that:
a) you're stuck in a loop, and
b) you don't know how to spell your own wife's name

Eleanore.

That was literally the only moment of 90210 I've ever seen. It stands out for its absolute cognitive dissonance and the fact that it caused me to threw my remote across the room so hard that it shattered into 20 pieces.

Musically, most of Ten Summoner's Tales is incredibly inventive and listenable. I tend not to listen much to lyrics so the insufferable self-importance doesn't affect me much. All I know is he writes some damn good music.

Funniest, most oblivious U2 moment:

I don't live in Florida, but vacationed there right when Donald Fagen's Kamakiriad came out, and I pretty much listened to Florida Room on infinite loop. It just felt so . . . Florida.

What's New In Baltimore? - Frank Zappa

Keep going for another 8 paragraphs and you could almost pass for Tarkovsky's Former AD.

Tell your special ladyfriend you'd like to "fill her barn with pianos" and report back to us!