Belle, would you stand up please?

Wow, look at that sucker bounce!

Her eyes rolled back, her jaw unhinged, and she jammed that 8-pound cornish game hen straight into her stomach, tongs and all.

The last thing a bucket of KFC ever sees.

Back To The Future introduced it to me. Thanks, Bob Zemeckis.

Your gut absorbs the recoil, ensuring the barrel always remains level when fired. And best of all, it ships with a weaponized Rascal scooter for maximum mobility,

Seagal's droopy, vinegary ballsack.

My God, he scalped Butch Patrick!

Would you like to partake of this tub of popcorn which is sitting on my lap?

Nothing left but a spinning office chair.

No, but she was once a kitten. With a whip, even.

I was always partial to the Dirty Vicar sketch, myself.

Yes. Yes I do.

Yep, her and the unicorn from Last Unicorn.

Speaking of, How 'bout that vampy Geena Davis in Transylvania 6-5000?

Meh, the yellow jumpsuit and the always getting kidnapped were big turnoffs for me.

Mine's called temp. Because a man can dream, can't he?

This, more than I care to admit to myself.

I dug Yeoman Rand. Me and Charlie X.

By some accounts, Pocahontas was around 10 years old when she met John Smith, so that bumps the creep factor a little further.