I wonder how someone like Derrick Rose meets women now. I mean he wasn't convicted or anything, but some really skeezy stuff came out of his trial, e.g., "sex swing"

Neither twin was Barack Obama? Well duh, he's a 55-year-old man.

In about five years, his is just going to be two jowls.

I like that they don't make their employees wear some bullshit uniform. Also the employees, while uniformly quick and helpful, don't feel the need to be overly cheery or welcome me to the store. They keep it very transactional which is what I want in a store.

You should use that vag glue that's in the other article.

I knew a guy that wore a "sport kilt" about half the time. It was pretty much a skirt, but he made it work.

I think that in the summer when it gets hot at a barbecue, some dude is going to be wearing a romper not realizing that his balls are hanging out of one of the legs.

Bratwurst story was a few days ago…

I knew a guy in college who insisted that Larry Bird was better than Michael Jordan (Bird was retired and Jordan had three titles at the time).

And had Ice-T as a kangaroo

Sure but its always worthwhile to reflect on why you like something and why others might not.

I should have known that Tom Hanks could never be an antihero

The story of my dad

It's like they're both saying "here are my balls"

Don't forget the Museum of Contemporary Art, too.

I wrote "fuck Trump" in the comments under an online picture of the Chicago Trump Tower and somebody called me a "cuck."

Turner and Hooch? Or am I thinking of K9?

My dog thinks Bernie would have won.

My dad used to have a t-shirt with a drawing of a cat in a blender above the words "cat daiquiri."

I'm waiting for a superhero movie that doesn't "count" like the Red Son comic. Logan comes close probably. I can't imagine that if they keep making X-Men movies, they'll let them all die from eating corn.