I've read that the last 10-15 years of Silicon Valley "innovation" is just these dorks making apps to do things that their mothers used to do for them, c.f. UBer,

I've seen cans of Jack and coke at the Binny's.

No, the Mrs. is right. Or she was right 15-20 years ago when LGBTQ representation was not as widespread as it is now.

I hope Raffi's not reading this.

One reason I liked Roseanne was that the Connor's house looked like a house in my neighborhood. Besides the kitchen being a little big, it was very realistic.

That's why I hit that wall….

I've built a little emulator system with a raspberry pi 2 and Yoshi's island and Super Mario RPG both have a ton of lag. I haven't tried Starfox.

What about getting, you know, poop on the controllers?

I like that little banana that sings about peanut butter and jelly. And baseball bats for some reason.

The current Zelda speed run record is under half an hour.

Finally someone let them outta their cage

I thought it was a granola bar.

https://youtu.be/VebGZYM8NR8

Take you imaginary daughter to an Easter egg hunt. I'm sure the parents won't mind

Back in the nineties, one of the Chicago Bulls' bench players bragged about the game he and Michael Jordan combined for 50 points.

I didn't have kids because I'm afraid of my own mortality.

Nah, they're too lame to do anything dangerous on purpose.

But I think the red shirts look nicer, so I would take the risk.

What do I have to do to get my kids on the AV Club? They're pretty cute, but I suck at Photoshop.

I thought it was a granola bar.