Today a man with ill-behaved twins inexplicably stopped his (double-wide) cart in the middle of the aisle in front of the self checkouts for a good 30 seconds with no concern for anyone around him…then pushed it over to a kiosk…then proceeded to screw up entering his rewards card number, and just stood there taking up…

They all say "FUCK ON TOMORROW! ROCK AND ROLL 69" now

The Peeps Delights they released this year - especially the chocolate variety, with chocolate filling and a nice chocolate shell on the bottom - were the best Peeps I've had in ages.

Good news, the location is being filled by "Ticks Me Off," a new fast-casual spot that serves toasted arachnids.

In the end, though, he says his love for Guardians’ group of wacky charactersMONEY won out, and he decided that they “have more adventures to go on and things to learn about themselves and the wonderful and sometimes terrifying universe we all inhabit.”HE IS GOING TO MAKE MORE, MORE MONEY, TRIPLE DOWN MARVEL MONEY,…

"North Hollywood Problem"? Is that a euphemism for the Circus Liquor sign?

I could see Christopher Eccleston shaving his head and standing in the middle of the outback, mimicking Peter Garrett's "feet firmly planted, torso in constant motion" dancing style.

Few things cause my blood pressure to spike like seeing a person with a cart using Self-Checkout…unless that person also has children, and they are creating a fun family activity by letting them "help."

That's cold, Jay.

If you want to get political with this, there's some analogy to draw between Hollywood's dependence on/addiction to only astronomically budgeted tentpole franchise films/humanity and fossil fuels.

The collab I never knew I wanted to see until now

What I like most about the Dominos app is how it constantly apologizes to you for how bad their pizza used to be, followed by assurances that this time, it'll be different.

Being able to put down your special instructions in writing and have proof when they STILL inevitably mess it up is a wonderful thing.

"Yeah, I know that guy. Used to come in here around 7 every Friday, large with extra cheese and mushrooms, carryout. Haven't seen him as much, not since the boss signed a contract with those CyberSlice guys - he's too cheap to pay any of us to make deliveries, so CyberSlice must be doin' it for free.

I only do "No, But"

Carl's decision to send himself down the "Tane brings the pain, owns a Great Dane" road was great.

Her only diagnosis was "terminal," her only prescription "AYIYIYIYI"

Well, remember, there are only three real plots:

I only know it as a reference from Clerks: The Animated Series, which beat Arrested Development to the "Judge Reinhold" joke by about half a decade. (It's also the only reason I know Zandalee exists.)

Z for a friggin' Zillion dollars on the check she's cashing from Kay Jewlers