It's Polish. His father was born in Poland. Pronounced "Luke-ah-shh."

Can you go to a movie on a school night?

Nah, she was a columnist for The Onion for a number of years.

If your mom made that threat today and then left you in Wal-mart alone for more than 5 minutes, she'd probably end up getting arrested.

Is her attorney going to play "Face Down Ass Up" and "Pop That Pussy" as evidence?

Maybe he was mixing it up with Flawless, that movie where De Niro has a stroke and gets his drag queen neighbor to give him speech therapy by teaching him to sing. Though I don't know if he sang Sinatra in the movie.

"Why don't you quit? Be cheaper for both of us."

More people need to see King of the Hill.

I'm so mean I had a dream of beatin' myself up
I broke my nose, I broke my hand, I wrestled myself to the ground and then
Choked myself to death then broke the choke and woke up

He can be cellmates with Rod Blagojevich.

Apparently you do. :)

Oooo! Navy SEALs!

That guy on CHiPS who wasn't Ponch.

His Andrew "Dice" Clay impression was pretty funny.

I love saying, "Come on, this isn't Sophie's Choice here."

Did he like apples?

Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls!

I was just watching it and thought it was well-executed. I suppose there must have been a crash pad behind the car.

I'll bet you're pretty chill UNTIL someone messes with your kids, and then you become a "lioness" or a "mama bear."

I wanted to try their $20 for two menu, but the server couldn't confirm that the Asian chicken salad was made by people from Asia (or their parents came from Asia), so I couldn't enjoy it. How could I like a meal when there might be some cultural appropriation, i.e., people who were making money off of Asian food who…