What merit badge were they working on?

Only homos have GoBots. You probably have Photon instead of Lazer Tag, too.

The Case of the Charred-Chested Chump, aka Dallas v. MTV

You got a problem with that, sizzlechest? All right, tough guy, you're talkin' to Frank Rizzo…open your ears, jackass!

She's got those squinchy eyes but I have the feeling you'd get sick of her protest bullshit pretty quick.

Reminds me of this new song on the radio: "Di-ver-gent! Oh, Di-ver-gent! Di-vergent-vergent!"

"My name is Joey Nichols! Want to know how to remember it? Just think Joey Five Cents!"

I think the duties of "planetary protection officer" should be limited to finding new planets we can trash.

Does this mean we'll get some Jennifer Jason Leigh circa Fast Times at Ridgemont High?

I had a girlfriend who was adamant about the fact that just because you have big tits doesn't mean you have nice tits.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.p…

It used to drive me crazy to hear a former roommate say "he don't" instead of "he doesn't." My Crazy Friend dropped out of high school at 15 and you can tell as soon as he opens his mouth. He thinks it's cool to say "dis" instead of "this" and uses "motherfucker" (male) or "bitch" (female) the way most people would…

That was the quickest two upvotes I have ever gotten.

I'd like to add the inexplicable trend of eliminating "of" after using "because." As in, "I don't like Temple of Doom because racism."

Reruns of The Fall Guy.

Is homemade ice cream worth the effort?

I wanna talk to Cooky Puss, Cooky Chick, anybody…

It would be nice if my profession was unionized. It would also be nice if employment agencies only took 10% of your earnings…this job was well-paid so God knows what they were forking out per hour to the agency.

Hey, guys, she's a "successful businesswoman." You know, maybe she's like a genius masquerading as a bimbo…after all, she makes millions of dollars a year and none of you do, so maybe it's you who's stupid.

Started a new "assignment" (since my work is almost always contract, I feel "job" is misleading) Monday and they shitcanned me yesterday afternoon. I was able to talk to my boss for five minutes four times in those two days…otherwise she was at meetings. But it's my fault, and she gets to keep her salaried job and I'm…