No, no, Hal David writes the lyrics. Burt just comes up with the tunes!

He's really short on….charm!

"Is Burt Bacharach a philosopher?"

"I know what Lydia's goal in life is. Huh-huh…it's to fuck the New Kids on the Block!"

Does that mean some male reporter will insist he can hack it in the Outback by himself and then strip down to a thong and get attacked by a crocodile?

On Thursday, I found out my offsite job ended and three hours later, found out I have a much-better-paid one starting Monday that could last several months and maybe even go permanent (I won't hold my breath). I bought a few pairs of shoes on eBay, plus French one-sheets for JFK and Empire of the Sun and a Spanish…

I think they still sell that as "bubble tea."

Good Will Hunting was decent, but didn't deserve anywhere near the acclaim it received.

I think it was only on the market for about a month. I haven't seen it in ages. And yes, it was expensive…it was only available in 20-oz bottles yet it cost the same as a 2-liter.

Man oh man, how I hate those fancy lads.

It was nice to have a bottle or two of Crystal Pepsi when they brought it back briefly. I wish Arizona would bring back those old-fashioned sodas they sold in the mid-1990s.

Who the fuck hit me?

What about "Mr. Camera"?

I cannot read this guy's name without thinking "his name is Steve Munchin…they keep misspelling it."

MOTHER FUCKING MUTT, YOU!

"Now don't worry about the game, the fans, the pressure….now I just want you to pretend you're 'back in the hood,' okay…just throwin' the ball around outside…and your 'moms' is about to ring the dinner bell…"

And the commas imply that it's his only "son."

I'll give you $100,000 to bow down before me and call me your master so I can prove that Everyone Has His Price.

I'd like to know what Ted "Million Dollar Man" DiBiase has to say about this.

What absolute twaddle.