"Hey, Full House is on! Uncle Danny is my favorite!"

Gary Coleman once responded to a fan letter of mine by sending me a signed 8x10 that read "Love and Respect, Gary Coleman." The back had a list of his favorite things - his favorite videos were Return of the Jedi and Rambo: First Blood Part II.

I remember Stewart, the fat kid who always tried to hang out with Beavis and Butt-head, loved TGIF and couldn't understand why they weren't excited that Full House was on and that Family Matters was coming up next.

I got Chuck Wagner's autograph at a car show when I was six. I also sat in KITT from Knight Rider.

I found the DVD of Willow at my local thrift shop today for two bucks.

Now you sit right there while Mother fixes you up something delicious to eat.

He also wrote the theme for Sanford and Son.

Do we have to factor race into EVERYTHING?

Maybe he should hang out with Babaloo Mandel.

Somebody help…..there's a Peck with an acorn pointed at me!

Why don't you gentlemen have a Pepsi?

What's their definition of "a normal life"?

This makes me miss the early days of The Disney Channel, when they mostly showed the old cartoons and movies and maybe some original content they bought from Canada or Australia, like The Edison Twins or Five Mile Creek.

Next you'll say me referring to Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro as "Marty" and "Bobby" makes me sound like a dork and not a Hollywood insider.

I thought it was about the gay guy from Revenge of the Nerds.

10. Oprah Mocha
9. Raspberry Rash
8. Norieggnog
7. Cholesterol Chip
6. Zsa Zsa Gaboreo
5. Tiny Filaments O'Tungsten
4. Uninhibited by Cher
3. Stuff-Found-in-Ben-&-Jerry's-Pockets
2. Bus Depot Fudge
1. Hitler Ripple

CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE

I always knew adults were full of shit when they told us as kids that "life is not a popularity contest."

At least it's okay for me to go into a music store, pick up an electric guitar, start playing though I don't know how to play any instrument, and say, "Look at me! I'm Randy Rhoads!"

Ho ho, ha ha. I'll ho ho and ha ha you, FAT FRIAR!