Isn't he supposed to be Indian, not African?

How about Sticky's?

When you think of garbage, think of Akeem!

Nothing is more "slumming-it Christopher Lloyd" than Suburban Commando.

Maybe "Eat My Fuc" is.

I didn't have an "Auschwitz burger," as my friend called them. I'm a pretty cynical guy, but eating a burger in front of Auschwitz…

We had a communal shower and one kid pissed on the only Indian kid in our grade. He was also in my Cub Scout troop…kids would always ask him to say "physician" since he pronounced it "fuh-jish-in."

Last week they were talking about A Wrinkle in Time. When I went to fifth grade camp, they played tapes of that story and this one after lights out. We made farting noises until the counselor came in and told us if we didn't shut up, he would turn the tape off. Then after he left, we all laughed because we could care…

Depends on what kind of soldier you want. I, uh, can drink a lot of beer.

Oh, shit! Turn it off! CHANGE THE CHANNEL!

I may get a wisdom tooth taken out in a few weeks. Anyone want to make an opening offer?

When I visited Auschwitz, there was a mobile hamburger stand there.

"Perhaps they couldn't put their crack pipes down long enough to apply!"

"Fuck me? Fuck you, fuck this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck the squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out…

You know the protagonist will be a progressive guy who doesn't think slavery is right but goes along with it while treating his slaves like equals. And there'll be a scene where he intervenes when someone else tries to beat a slave.

No, he just beats the shit out of her after accusing her of trying to turn him on.

Jefferson Davis Hogg?

"I could make money selling weed, but the last time I did that, I was getting calls at, like, 4:00 in the morning. Then they'd only want to buy an eighth. Besides, I always ended up smoking up most of my profits."

(mumbling)

How is it an insult to piss on the bed of people who have already checked out of the hotel? That's like me egging an enemy's house after he's moved away.