"Someplace varm. I need to verk on my tan anyway."

I took Greyhound two weeks ago. We got in over an hour late. The bus driver told us to let her know if she took a wrong turn into the first stop since she hadn't been there before. She pulled over twice by the side of the highway and couldn't find the second stop…we ended up driving through town.

You mean the "famous rapper" I've never heard of till now?

She must be one of those "rap guy's" girlfriends.

No, no! I am serious!

"Otisburg?"

I'd settle for nobody ever using the terms "Queen Bey" and "the Beybies" again.

Yeah, but the guy at the gallery makes these great espressos with the little lemon twists.

That phrase is going on my tombstone.

Looks like we have here a little art installation! Seems harmless, a little "food for the soul," right? No fire safety hazard here at all. LEMME SHOW YA SOMETHIN'!! Let's suppose inside one of these crowns is a Dixie cup full of gasoline! And you go to light a cigarette and [fiery explosion. face is burned off]….YA…

The whole point of doing anything is to see how many Likes you can get.

Because we have to think of some cutesy annoying word for everything now.

Oh well, at least the artwork was destroyed for a good cause.

But what if the guy you were switching faces with was played by Rip Taylor?

"Pony Sweat is inclusive of all body types and packed with positivity."

It also has Fabio.

I like the ending. Hanks is at a literal crossroads and doesn't know what to do next.

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall. - William Shakespeare, Measure for Measure

"I'm a pony! I'm a pony! Don't you feel like a pony? DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE A PONY WHEN YOU SWEAT?"

Hey, but I thought that "inner beauty" was what mattered, and the only people who value a woman's physical appearance are total jerks who aren't worth giving the time of day to anyway.