I always felt sorry for you guys because you had to play that 5-minute loop of commercials that got irritating for me even being in the store for 15 minutes. I worked at an independent video store and we could play anything as long as it wasn't rated R.

The video for Del Amitri's "Roll With Me" might be the worst video ever.

When I was in high school, I bought a David Hasselhoff CD in a bargain bin for three bucks as a joke. On the cover, he was wearing a sport coat with no shirt underneath.

It also has a poster far better than the film deserves:

The movie is funny, but Murray's character isn't nearly as funny as people make him out to be.

Chrisward, how do the piggies go? That's right! Oink! Oink! Now, I want you to show me how the piggies eat. Come on, be a good boy, show Ricky how the piggies eat.

The first Jay Leno joke I ever heard was "I'm so glad Nancy Reagan won Woman of the Year over that conniving bitch Mother Teresa."

Enjoy. And definitely NSFW.

You want to hear something really hilarious? There's an old Family Circus comic where Dolly is happy to see they're having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner…but check this shit out: she calls it…"pasketti and meatbulbs!"

It also won't dye its hair, which should be against the law if you're a redhead.

I'll bet you could really piss 50 Cent off by claiming that he's not REALLY rich.

And who uses the word "shit" for everything.

I don't know what is going on with Lindsay's eyes.

Goddammit, it's hard to defend Lindsay Lohan since she hasn't done anything noteworthy in more than a decade. But a pale, freckly redhead dressed like Grace Kelly in Rear Window…

I lived in London for awhile and there was a bus shelter ad that had Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen with really long hair looking really fey and someone wrote WANKER in big black marker across his face.

I haven't heard "Firstie" for awhile.

Like Janet Munro in Darby O'Gill and the Little People?

Oh, if only there was some link to Hormel Bacon…

It can be two things!

If only there was a place on this Earth where I could post my political opinions for others to read.