I'm guessing there's a good reason they didn't recruit Natalie.

Guess they'll be relying a lot more on Dougie when it's time for Locker Jokes.

Never let him know…that you know…what he knows…you know?

The fact that he calls a swarthy Italian-American "Sabu" cracks me up every time. I doubt many people even get the joke now.

With this sort of unity, I'll bet they'll turn the Gaza Strip into a big petting zoo, and everyone gets in free!

Tough luck. Jews don't belong in show business, everyone knows that.

For the right amount of money, you might get to party with the girls in Porky's Pen.

"Fuck her! Suck her tits, squeeze her buns…you know she wants it! Don't listen to that jackoff…look at those gazongas! You'll never get a better chance…"

Those Gatsby parties looked like a lot of fun, plus maybe I could pull Elizabeth Debicki away from Tobey Maguire when she sees that she makes him look like a sixth-grader.

Hey, Sabu, can you make a bullshot?

Most girls I dated said something like that. People tell me it's a natural thing and I should be glad, but then again, they also tell me being this tall is a great thing and that being bald is good because of a few action stars.

I think Wyoming or Montana allow open containers.

In Living Color had their own awards show, the Pookies, with categories like Best Scared Brother on a Po-lice Show. When it came time to award Best Actress, the nominees were Whoopi Goldberg for Ghost, Whoopi Goldberg for Sister Act, and Whoopi Goldberg for Sarafina!

My imaginary daughter loves petting zoos.

Worse - he tried to and eBay wouldn't let him since they have a policy against selling body parts.

Yes. The only big bald guys anyone finds attractive are oafish action hero types or bikers or cops or other "badass" types. I don't want to attract someone into that, even though I'm fat rather than in good shape. I don't want someone who likes my height or notices my size; it hurts if girls say "I love how small I…

You lied to me!

If that's the case, I don't want to ride with you again if you're going to drink while driving. It's not cool to drink and then put the beer in my cup holster and tell me it doesn't matter if I get in trouble because you'll pay the ticket and me getting a ticket is better than you getting a DUI.

I'm guessing Colt Seavers would be pro-NRA, so it leaves me no choice.

The disturbing thing is, the more the injury seems like it hurts, the more we laugh. When Curly gets hit on the head with a wrench, it isn't the act that's funny so much as his pain and anger that come from it.