I have a blister at the base of my right index finger because they had chuck roast on sale for $2.89/lb last weekend and I bought 14 lbs, cut all of it into pieces (tossing about 2 lbs of extra fat in the process), and now my fridge is stuffed.

How about asking (though I've heard the story before) about how Henriksen auditioned at first to play the Terminator, back when Arnold was going to play Reese?

The writer of this article refuses to tell us if she has "a real Mrs. Ditka quality" to her.

And in the silence that followed
All that could be heard was
A solitary giggle from
None other than
THERESA MAY, PRIME MINISTER OF ENGLAND (AND HER WARTS!)
Born the first of the month in 1956 (October!)

I have a lot of DVDs I haven't watched yet, but I also bought most of them for a buck or two at Salvation Army.

Boy, I'll bet all of you wish you could go back to 1991 and tell yourselves you were wasting all that money buying a console plus games when you could have the console plus a shitload of games for less than the price of a console.

Chris Miller, who wrote the original stories for The National Lampoon, was called "Pinto" in his fraternity (Alpha Delta at Dartmouth) because he had spots on his dick.

In the Clint Eastwood monkey movies, there's a clownish biker gang that follows Clint around and keeps getting their asses kicked. Their leader is oddly polite and invokes God more than once during their quest to beat Clint's ass.

"Flounder, I'm appointing you Pledge Representative to the Social Committee!"

"Lord…other men you made outta clay. Why'd you have to make mine outta shit?"

"Look, I'll swear that you were doing a great job taking care of your brother's car. But you parked it out back last night, and in the morning…it was gone! [Bluto looks confused and horrified] We report it to the police. D-Day takes care of the wreck. Your brother's insurance company buys him a new car!"

I hate Autoplay videos in news articles. Most of the time, I want to read an article rather than watch a video, but CNN insists on starting a video no matter how many times you try to pause it.

I can't even find the video to turn off this shit.

Does Thora Birch do anything anymore? You would have thought she was poised for fame around this period, but then she disappeared.

I have fond memories of Ghost World. It was one of the first movies I saw when I moved to L.A. The girl with the curly red hair who Enid tries to set Seymour up with at the bar is my former next-door neighbor in Hollywood.

"Now, Prickhard…we're not going to fight about this."

I saw the movie in the theatre and was it an endurance test. I think we went in at like 7 pm when it was still a bit light out and got out at 11.

RamonaThePest may still be available.

Turned 40. Had a joint birthday party with My Crazy Friend and his family Saturday night. Salsa dancing, some fireworks, a lot of food and beer. The next morning, my friend decided to sell water at the Pride Parade. He drank four beers while driving, putting them in my cup holster, and he said he'd pay my fine and…

Only if Chuck does that "scared pig" sound right before Ernest kills him.