"Huggable." "Teddy bear-like." "Second Helping? Yes, Please!"

I'm a copywriter and I instantly found myself thinking of alternatives. "Big." "Husky." "Broad." "Generously-Proportioned."

I thought the article said that the figures were available in three different sizes. Does that mean you can buy skinny or fat versions of the same figures, or did they trot out only the thin ones for the ad?

If that pic is indicative of the new Kens, they're all gay. Tell me you don't see the male dolls in that pic and think that any one of them is into women.

People who wear tanktops outside of a gym should get the same.

One of my professors in college co-wrote this movie. His writing partner lived in L.A. They also wrote Top Gun, Dick Tracy, and a bunch of other movies.

It's pretty bad. It's a Hollywood satirization of action movies, which usually means big explosions that blow the cops into palm trees. I've tried and tried to like it - maybe it's because I saw it while I was getting my driver's license - but it's awful.

Mission: Impossible 2 is a pretty good action movie if you can suspend your disbelief.

That would be a fun challenge for a screenwriter.

I love the poster and wish the movie were better so I could justify buying it. I did buy the movie for two bucks at Salvation Army.

Showbiz was the one I remember as a kid. At least they had a bear.

I did end up dancing with the groom's hot cousin, who's like six feet tall.

Fuck it, I just got a ticket. I'm sure the prospect of spending a Tuesday evening with Ricky Coogin should bring plenty of people out.

Oh, Putter, aren't you ever going to watch the version where Old Yeller dies?

One of my cousins got married several years ago. Some people came to the wedding in T-shirts.

Why are you calling him Pizza Rat when his name is Chuck E. Cheese?

That side of my family is like that. They're not even poor or stupid; they're fairly well-off, though in their community, 60K will buy you a decent two-story house. They all have college degrees in engineering. But they're the type of people who never wash their cars, wearing anything beyond what you can buy at…

My cousin came to another cousin's wedding in DC wearing Timberlands, khakis, a denim button-up shirt, a tie with a cartoon character on it, and a baseball cap. I felt sorry for him because he was under 21, so I let him raid my hotel room mini-fridge.

I DON'T KNOW, FISH SANDWICH

He's autistic. He's not human, he's some sort of freak. Different. Probably doing it for attention. Your children are not safe around him.