You gotta G-R-A-B-T-H-E-M-C-A-K-E-S, awwww, grab them cakes! I don't care what it takes!

"I, uh, think I ran over a Wookiee back there."

Maybe he was just singing "Macho Man" by Village People.

"Well, what do you know. Son, this man's dad once made a lot of enemies down in your neck of the woods. Jefferson v. Madison County School District. The folks down there said a little black girl couldn't go to an all-white school. Lionel Kaffee said, 'We'll just see about that.' How the hell is your dad?"

He did co-write a sequel that was worse even than the ones Lucas did for his franchise.

When I worked on the Sony lot, the Ectomobile was rotting away in a corner. At one point, they had to get a bunch of guys to push the damned thing out of the way to get at something else.

"He tries to feign indifference to the fact that he has a cheap, bad haircut. A haircut that's bad because it's cheap."

That's how Albert Fish got started.

Patriotism at a budget price:

He'll jam a missile in a kid's esophagus long enough to make them choke to death. I know he's not still in the package, but he's got it where it counts.

Works with the IRS.

If he really wanted to fuck Sansweet over, why not just tear open all the boxed-up action figures and leave a note:

And Lamar would beat Trump in doing aerobics with 10-year-old boys in their underwear.

Eating Sour Skittles when you have any small cuts or sores inside your mouth is like pouring salt on a wound. They're still awesome, though.

They're too busy investigating my Crazy Friend, who hasn't filed a return in over a decade. His reason? "What're they gonna do? I ain't got no money to give them."

I just want to make sure I'm not gettin' sloppy seconds from Nat "King" Cole here.

There was a sequel to "Whoomp! There It Is!" It was called "Quack! There It Is!" and was recorded for the movie D2: The Mighty Ducks.

Maybe they should have a physical fitness requirement for Presidential candidates. You know, like in Revenge of the Nerds II.

Fun fact: Back in the '70s, Nahan's car was broken into. They took his stereo and all his valuables except one thing. He said he had a pair of Dodgers season tickets in plain sight and the thieves left them there. He said that was when he really realized how bad the Dodgers were doing that season.

I cannot listen to anything this man has to say or take him seriously because he is fat.