You're the Matthew Broderick character from Election, aren't you?

What's so civil about war, anyway?

"It all degenerated after Doug Kenney and Henry Beard left. Then it became nothing but tits and racial slurs." - John Goodman

They could set it during WWII and call it Top Gun 2: Black Guys Can't Fly Planes, They Can Only Be Cooks or Servants for Officers

I always thought it looked like a ripoff of Top Gun, but I still can't believe I never watched it considering how bananas I was about the Cruise film.

She's what every white boy off the lake wants.

I'd like to see a spinoff film about Graham Greene's character.

I like how people think this is the gayest movie ever because there's a scene where four guys play volleyball shirtless and there's another where they're in the locker room only wearing towels.

I am the first Yuppie Poet!

What you should have done was MAKE THE MOVIE 30 YEARS AGO! You don't decide when to release a sequel, the audience does! Son, your ego's got you thinking the failure of The Two Jakes was just a fluke!

Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum

What's REALLY edgy is when you don't use "II" or "2", but "too." Which is why Teen Wolf Too is so edgy.

"Don't you hate it when you go to the bathroom…and there's no toilet paper?"

You'd better also not like Gone With the Wind. Despite it being highly acclaimed and beloved for decades, it's a piece of shit now because it takes place in the antebellum South and the slaves aren't loudmouthed Samuel L. Jackson types.

You'd better be big and bald and Scots-Irish, Swedish, Finnish, German, and Belgian or else YOU'RE TELLING ME HOW I SHOULD FEEL!

That was a good movie.

People take comments online too seriously. There are plenty of bored guys out there who'll post stupid shit because they know people online are oversensitive and will take absolutely everything seriously. Then they'll claim "This is how guys are! This proves rape culture exists!" while a bunch of teenagers cackle…

As talented as he is, Tarantino deserves a beatdown, and not just for his lack of acting talent ("'ey, iss cool, ese").

In a movie we're no longer allowed to enjoy because Morgan Freeman's character isn't militant and Miss Daisy is, like, totally racist and we can't like movies unless all the characters hold progressive, modern views.

"Don't forget lazy, disrespectful…"