What eventually happens in all our lives is that we're faced with developmental challenges. It's always "Now, what?" We all start to work for certain reasons, and I think most guys in the room would recognize that we work to meet girls. The last line of Caddyshack is, "Hey! We're all going to get laid!" It was an…

I did like how in the movie, even multi-millionaire Tom Cruise dreams of driving a Ferrari 250 GT, but has to settle for a '67 Mustang in his real life.

YOU WEIGH 270 LBS AND YOU'RE ORDERING TWO LARGE PIZZAS? WHAT'S THE OCCASION? GOT A "DATE"? "FAMILY IN TOWN"? MORE LIKE FEELING "A BIT HUNGRY," ISN'T IT, YOU TUB OF LARD? AS IN "I'M NOT ESPECIALLY HUNGRY" BUT "I'M SO USED TO OVEREATING THAT MY FAT GUT WILL EASILY HOLD TWO MORE PIZZAS." AM I RIGHT? DON'T YOU HAVE ANY…

What about Jolly Green Giant?

'Ey, those cameras are expensive, you should be more careful, ha ha ha….

My neighborhood has a lot of bars and I rode my bike down Clark screaming "WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" and I was literally swarmed with people from the bars.

"You know, Myra, you think you're cute, but to me, you look like a very large baked potato." - Stallone

They could absolve themselves by calling 1-800-YT-GUILT.

It's a good thing Trump is offering her a job, because we all know that broads don't belong in BROADcasting.

"Appropriating" is bullshit. What, now culture belongs to certain races? Should white people "be allowed" to rap, or play jazz, or even rock and roll? Is a white woman wearing cornrows "stealing" something that "belongs" to black women?
Should writers only write what conforms to their race and upbringing? Is it wrong…

"Belgian" is the one thing I leave out not because it's bad but I don't know anything about the country. Who "looks Belgian"?

Can you pick up a dozen eggs and a green pepper on the way home? And check those eggs this time to make sure there are no broken ones!

It is convenient how every criticism against a woman is "sexism" and every criticism against a minority is "racism." But hey, since her dad insulted other groups of people, I guess this is okay.

I like how super-fat characters are often characters from the South. The best example is the Simpsons episode "King-Sized Homer," where Bart acquires a Southern accent while proudly displaying his immobility to reporters.

The score for the video was written by The Shitty Beatles.

Some people in Chicago were glad when a billiards supply company closed their doors since for years, their sign said "WE HAVE CLEAN BALLS AND SMOOTH SHAFTS."

Spielberg's mom has a pretty good Jewish dairy restaurant in west L.A. and she's very friendly to customers.

And the darkest time is just before dawn…

People often mistake generalization for stereotyping. If you say "black people like fried chicken," people get offended although a) there's nothing wrong with fried chicken unless you're a health nut or a vegetarian b) most black neighborhoods do have restaurants specializing in fried chicken, same as pho in…

Is this "that thing with the cup" that Tom Wolfe was always writing about in the early 2000s?