His argument is he can't enjoy entertainment that doesn't feature people of his race. I said by that mindset, I shouldn't be enjoying films by and starring people who are not of my race. He can't put away his racial hang-ups to enjoy a movie or TV show.

I have some Vietnamese fish sauce I could gargle with.

He's not dead, he was just speaking about the Congressional undead.

Bring back Letterman!

What if I come up with some bullshit about how mermaids age slower and how Ariel is probably 45 and I can score points for dating an "older woman."

Two weeks ago, someone (you?) watched Saturday Night Live and saw Vanessa Bayer in a '50s outfit and said they immediately thought, "Ricky Coogin would like this even more than me."

I just get sick of the constant pandering here.

So we already decided that it's totally normal to fall in love with an animated character, right?

I liked his version of "Teen Angel" from his novelization of The Abyss:

Correction: Rich WHITE kids.

Oops, you were right. I was thinking you're "get to the ball game" reference wasn't "just get a Cubs hat, you pretentious jerk."

What are you saying, that the AV Club isn't open-minded when it comes to politics? You must be another of those dumbass Republicans who are all rich and white and plot daily to make everyone else's lives worse.

Doesn't soup smell good, though?

"I wanted a piece of pound cake as much as anyone, but I didn't steal one. Why? Not because 'you're gonna get your butt kicked.' Because you're going to embarrass your mother."

I used to like Spike Lee movies before I realized I was white and the movies weren't for me and since I'm not from a big city or kind of an Italian stereotype, I couldn't enjoy the movies. I also learned Scorsese movies are not for me for the same reason (minus the black part).

On the AV Club, we get both, and so much more.

I won't wear baseball caps. I don't care about sports and wearing a baseball cap makes you look like a little kid.

From the original script for Boogie Nights:

Eat it, Chalke. Goranson is the only true Becky.

Yeah, thank God Democrats only get into politics to "help people."