So she has that same stupid haircut for decades that my imaginary daughter had for about six months.

The place in Florida where they filmed like two shots of crocodiles eating Mola Ram and his men used to put the fact that the movie was shot there on their brochure. Some IMDB nerds have pointed out that they're American alligators in the scene.

That was the point of the humor, to pretend I was about eight years behind what was cool.

I remember getting a big laugh when I worked at a Pizza Hut in the early '90s and when someone saw I hadn't shaved, I said I was hoping I'd look more like Don Johnson.

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA OM NAMAH SHIVAYA OM NAMAH SHIVAYA OM NAMAH SHIVAYA

I had a random Power Rangers thought the other day. Why is it that the bullies are the fat kid and the nerdy skinny kid and the people they bully are the good-looking, presumably popular kids that they deride as "dorks"?

I watched about five minutes of Noah Cyrus on MTV and that was enough.

MOLA RAM SUDA RAM MOLA RAM SUDA RAM

You want to bang heads with the creative director at some agency like Trailer Park or Intralink?

Also That Thing You Do!

I used to buy legal weed in California with a credit card and didn't need to use Bitcoin.

The one who lost to Hogan in the steel cage at WrestleMania 2.

Two worlds collide, rival nations
It's a primitive clash, venting years of frustrations
Bravely we hope against all hope
There is so much at stake
Seems our freedom's up against the ropes
Does the crowd understand?
Is it East versus West or man against man?
Can any nation stand alone?

Why do they call it taking a dump and not leaving a dump? After all, you're not taking it anywhere! Funk dat.

Ah, the fabled blumpie. A guy I knew in college said it was combining life's two greatest pleasures. Then he said giving her the donkey punch made it even better.

It better be about how fat he was. Same with Marlon Brando. Regardless of any performance they ever gave, both of them got fat when they were older. Really fat. And we can't let them get away with it.

But then she dumped Citizen Kane for some polo player…

That's why I am wary of having any or helping someone else raise one.

She was at her loveliest in that movie.

I like the '76 Kong.