You've always got Back to School.

There was a Wayne's World tie-in book back when the movie came out and one page was devoted to TV shows Wayne would have if he had his own channel. One was called The Golden Girls: The Early Years and was based on "that beer commercial where those old ladies run through a waterfall and turn into these hot babes."

Is that the one where Kool-Aid man gets sued in small claims court for bursting through a wall (OHHHH YEAH!) and has to do some community service (OHHH NO!)?

I began making better money last year and for Christmas, I paid for my dad to come to Chicago and see the Chicago Symphony perform Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring,” which he said was one of the best concerts he ever saw, and he’s seen orchestras perform in London, Vienna, San Francisco, etc.

The free comic is just surplus copies of those '80s comics with Kool-Aid Man as the hero fighting the Thirsties.

I think that goes a long way to explaining to people why rich people are often unhappy despite "having it all." We seek novelty. If I have New York strip steak on Sunday, it's a treat. Having it whenever I feel like it makes it mundane.

Artist requests:

Maybe this is just sour grapes, but I think if I lived this sort of luxury lifestyle for any length of time, I'd no longer appreciate it. A gourmet meal would just become another meal. A Rolls Royce would just be that thing that gets me from point A to point B. Vacations to tropical resorts would no longer be a…

How'd you end up a guest on Conan?

There was a cut scene from The Jerk where Navin gets a job as a buffalo counter in Beverly Hills. He sits around all day on Rodeo Drive and finally one appears and he counts it.

Polish people do it too.

RUMP NAMED TRUMP BUYS A LOTTA JUNK

Take it from me, imagination can be a wonderful thing.

Wear them with black dress socks.

Just some blue milk.

The defendant's death was an act motivated only by self-interest and with total disregard for the hardships - physical, mental, and financial - it would cause her fellow employees.

I'd approve of CGI Leia in a reissue of TESB where she doesn't stop at that slow kiss she gives Luke on Hoth.

I remember as a kid thinking I would get rich by ripping off Charlie and the Chocolate Factory except making it a toy factory.

I worked at a video store in the summer of '95 and there were plenty of movies with guys in black suits and sunglasses on the shelves. One kid was so in love with Pulp Fiction that he preordered the tape and shelled out the video store price, about 80 bucks.

"…the Bohuweemoth…"