I lost my virginity to Wilford Brimley. Diabetus.

I'm a mall punker.

I feel like Apocalypse 91: The Enemy Strikes Black was Professor Griff's magnum opus.

This was the first Clash song that got to me. It helped me understand The Clash. And fuckin' A what a song! 

I can play CD's in my car, in my stereo, rip them into mp3's on my computer, and they still cost less than vinyl. Why am I being guilted into buying vinyl? I still buy it. But why? Damn it! I think I'm the only person I know who still buys Compact Discs. I've got a got-damn quadraphonic Blaupunkt!

If this band was as inexplicably popular as Mumford and Sons, I'd have to kill myself, and all of you, and especially Edward Sharp.

Was that girl in the vidya a Linda Perry impersonator? I heard Linda wrote all The Nirvana's songs.

Jenny McCarthy gave my kid autism.

You have say what my brain be trying to say so long!

Me likey. Me really likey. 

I once saw Mimi Parker at the grocery store. 

I am baiowolf. 

Yeah, I was on drugs when I wrote that. I see my mistake. I know the reason he left the show. I was just upset because Winston etc.

Fuck Damon Wayons JR. He jumped ship and hooked up with the wrong show. That's his fault. He's the Joe Lieberman of sitcom shows about 30 yr. olds. There is no place for you!

Dear AV Club. What the fuck are you talking about? Snarky shitbomb post. Nobody gets your humor. 

In my religion we destroy that which we don't understand.

Fuck Sorkin and fuck Sports Night. 

Her younger sister had all the talent in the family.

Fuckin' Paul Rudd should curate movie soundtracks.

I saw Mangum pick up a tambourine in the womb, MAN! He fuckin' rocked it! Of course, I'd already grown a beard by then, and was drinking PBR tallboys.