I came for the films. I left with real life memories.

Fuck you honkey.

Well, I'm putting them all in together age-wise, but they're really a different breed. You work within your range - Pacino/De Niro were never box office guys; and I think Ford took on challenging roles at different times. But that's actor vs movie star vs theatre bullshit etc.

Gold Guy#1: You see a fucking sign outside my house that says 'prime gold storage'?

What does the 'O' stand for?

When I'm old, I'm going to emerge from the forest and start up a heroin habit. That seems like the best time for it.

What a pay-check grabbing loser De Niro turned out to be. Kevin Kline, eh, whatever, he was great in his Oscar-winning role as a massive prick, but is ultimately forgettable, should've stayed in theater. At least Freeman and Douglas still seem to have a bit of quality control going on with their output.

I know…a thousand Bea Arthur fantasies flooding back…an erection decades in the making…dick in hand…'Oh hello, boss'.

Couldn't you just buy the whole girl instead?

I always dreamt it was a sort of mecca for Golden Shower Specialists. Oh yes, the wondrous hours I have spent, dreaming about being drenched in Rue McClanahan's piss.

I banged Bea back in the day. Her pussy was as dry as expected. A tight fit, let me tells ya.

And that's why you gave her all that money.

He's pretty fly for a white guy.

What other fun nights have you had? Are they all awards-based?

No - you prepare for my dick in your ass by lubing every inch of it.

Wow, Tom Cruise is standing right behind the comedy writer on the left. And he's loving the laughs too.

For a third time?

@avclub-501c54d131c3b93043a744af0c259c58:disqus No, that was me. I would apologise about your cat, but it was  intentional. I hate cats, I'm not sorry, and I meant to do it. I'll be here for six months at least.

No, to deal with the pain about the Rollins news. We should talk about this - give me a call on 079-F-U-K-Y-O-S-E-L-F.

Done. But you're totally no closer to realising your dream.