The hipster purple muppet and the french shrimp are the worst. I wish nothing but fire for them. Still, I liked Muppets Tonight when it was coming on, but I was in a sweet spot for it age wise. I remember Rizzo talking to Prince by drawing the love symbol on his back and jumping backwards whenever he needed to address…

Mr. Bimbo living in Fozie's finger was the best, that alone validates the existence of Muppet Treasure Island.

heh
I work at a federal agency in DC, and our rather liberal web-blocking system came up with this gem:

Seriously.
When do tickets go on sale?

Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse me, who are you? Excuse…

Therapist: "Work"
Mark: *snake pit* "Snake.. charmer"
Therapist: Just say the first thing that comes to mind. Money.
Mark: *Everything* "Not everything."
Therapist: "Children."
Mark: *Blind* "Uh, short"
Therapist: "Father"
Mark: *Fuhrer* "Football."
Therapist: "Mother."
Mark: *Sophie* "FUCK! Uh, no, not fuck!"

Grandpa
I will always equate General Hospital with my grandfather. The man worked as a plastering contractor into his 70s. He was a gruff, quiet smoker with a foul mouth who would shoot house cats for wandering onto his property. He had a Johnny Unitas haircut until he was 70, lungs full of asbestos damage and drank…

What's the deal
This is like the sixth time I've read the term "pointy-headed movie critic" this week.

And they don't look like shit either.

It does not look right. He looks like a monster with a face made out of barely functional clay—an early version of F Murray Abraham in Star Trek Insurrection or something.

whoops!

Silent Night, Deadly Night kind of rules, actually. The guy in the santa suit skewers a topless woman on some deer antlers that are hanging on the wall, and always shouts NAUGHTY as he's murdering someone.

Where to begin
As a kid I was scared of everything from dinosaurs to insects. I was an easily frightened boy, an older brother's dream. It got to the point where, when we went to the video store, my brother had to keep his horror movies in the car because I thought the images on the cover would come to life and kill…

"That's one of the best ideas for a gimmick screening I've ever heard, except for the part where you'd be floating in half-lake-water, half-terror-pee. "

Apparently a life spent not reading David Foster Wallace has led me to write everything like David Foster Wallace.

Jesus, work is boring and seemingly never ending enough. I don't need Tarkovsky's help.

Gargoyles, if I remember correctly, was a pretty sweet show. Kind of dark like Batman TAS, which is why I find it surprising that it doesn't have a more culty following.

Welp, nevermind.

The dates that show up on the queue don't always pan out. I've seen them say that South Park is going to get taken off several times and then the date passes, and hey look at that, they're still there, with more seasons to boot.

We just want to know where you would put it on the Bitchin' Scale between The Joy Luck Club and Aliens.