Now do magnets! DO MAGNETS!

Jesus Christ, am I going to be the one to tell you there is no such scene in the movie and that that actually happened to you?!

I've never been "boomed" before, but yea.. it sucks.

Can't we just rename it a flat circle jerk? Coz that's what it's started to feel like…

Some might say "sassy", but not to her face…

Real Bradley Cooper, but every time he opens his mouth, real raccoon sounds come out.

No theme music?

Might it be that you murdered him and have been wearing him as a skinsuit all these years?

Your application to Hallmark has been approved.

That is still very much within the realms of possibility for you and in your specific case, very very disturbingly likely.

Cellar Kinski's are the worst Kinski's.

I hate/love myself for correcting you:

follow up question: what is enigmatic?

Please also hold your breath.

So you basically have to pay people to talk to you on any meaningful level…

So you're a 'chap', are you Peter? …You wouldn't say you were a girl at all?

A gimmick poster taking over someone else's gimmick.

Can you sing us more than 30 seconds of this song?

Does this count as one of his three wishes or does he have all three left?!

Oooh, my new band name will be "The Headliners".