Can be be thrown INTO a mountain? Volcano-type that is?

I can't wait for "Appalachian Holler."
Or maybe "Meth River." The white trash needs a chance at this too.
I will be glad to nominate some of my not-so-close friends from the North Georgia area.

Wait a minute.. this isn't faux dive, this is real dive!

Not Without My Shoes
That would be a Lifetime hit. $250 K up front and I motherfuckin' guarantee Huggies sponsorship AND a mention on Joy Behar. That shit be locked, just say the word.

It's the Snobs vs. Slobs # 3007! Guess who wins?
or.. wait.. is it Nerds vs. Jocks? or Geeks vs. Freaks? Mods vs. Rockers? I'm confused.

Will Amy and Bristol do it?
If so, I predict at least one unironic 80s-teen-movie-nostalgia-induced orgasm.

"Is it clean?"

I liked this one. And I want a Mr. Cry-Ceratops! And a Reggie.

Definitely the Apocalypse Now girlfriend story
I gave up a long, long time ago trying to make other people like what I like. But this article brought it all back for me.

Yeah
I was totally being like Rimbaud when I fucked that chick then puked in the gutter. Did you see how I did, there?

You kicked my Battleass!

I was just thinking that
Or.. was I thinking it later this afternoon?

Time is sexy in ANY dimension!

I would go to the 80's just so I could slap myself in the head and tell myself to get a decent haircut. Unfortunately, visitors from the future are never appreciated enough for their fashion foresight.

Keep On Trucking!
Ha! As if I would ever STOP trucking!

I bark because I am a slave
yet I can feel pain!! Why?????

I prefer to send a Tit-Feel-E-Gram
I guess this could be used for that purpose as well. "Happy Valentine's Day, honey. I really miss grabbing your tits."

Successive superbowl events have taught us
… that men are dangerously evil companion animals, given to violent outbursts of public urination and occasional taint-exposure. But it's a small price to pay for the truth.

If we keep these numbers up,
We'll have a Supermajority! Then, you know what? We can elect us a president!

organic, natural douchebaggery
Sounds like a quaint little shop in Refurbished Colonial Trenton. They sell candles, hempware, handmade soaps, and locally crafted folk-art douchebags woven from owl feathers and discarded Coke bottletops.