Remember…
In Soviet Union, surfboard rides YOU!

Correction, Annoying Feminist: They are somewhat, but not TOO squishy. In other words, when playing with them, a light touch is required at all times. Yes, this includes "foot" balls, which are so called because they hang a foot or more…

"Your ass, your ass is full of my dick!"

And also…
That's EXACTLY how I drink my can of Schlitz every day after work! DOwn to the size of the phone!

Wha?
Uhmm.. why is the Indian guy actually a Brooklyn Jew with Worf hair?

orgasm, vomit - what's the difference?

Actually, Taco Bell food empties one violently of all sadness, from the rectum and occasionally the mouth as well.

Well, he'd be scared of his own kitchen staff…

Jesus, Murray, and Joeseph!
I..i..i..i.i..i..i…i..iis you a.a.a.a.a…..a… spook?

*accidentally punches friend, makes up drunkenly, makes out with sister drunkenly*

More like a situation UNDER my hands, amirite??!?

Great! Now I don't ever have to get off my ass again!
Just fire up the ol' Roku and it's Cahiers du Cinema in my conversation pit!

One word: The Chevy Van. Best invention ever for serial killers, pedophiles, and generally icky guys all across America. Second: the All-Night Interstate Motel.

Russian Midget Hookers of the Corn?

"Surveys show" the 40s are the worst? Yet all those surveyed were STILL LIVING. Coincidence????

Old Flames
can't hold a candle to her, lest they catch her nylons on fire.

It's always a bad idea
.. to let the Ren-Fair falconers and the roadies ride together in the same tour bus. Things like this are gonna inevitably happen.

Ha! Even the weak-kneed Brits are in awe of the awesome fighting, carrion-eating power of the Bald Eagle, the most "boss" of all kick-ass predators! (Except for the Timber Wolf under a full moon, of course, which would be even more kick-ass.)

Very glad I am not stoned or Swedish.
Otherwise this might prompt me to increase the suicide rate.

MBS was no ZMF.