Sorry, all the artificial cat piss scent formula in the U.S. is currently being used by Anheuser-Busch for Bud Light Chelada.

Gene should be the guy who takes the trash out back to the dumpster. Only way to keep his hair and schlong out of the tomato sauce.

The Bachelor: Impaled on the Steering Wheel Column of Love
Wait, wait! I got another one…

Only one task remains…
We must arrange to have several more actors' penises burned, so that Tatum will forever after be known as "The Guy From Parkour: The Movie Who Had A Burnt Penis Before Anyone Else Did." I will also accept burned scrota and perinea, but only with corollary penis-shaft damage.

Also, can I get in on that avatar tv-show thing as "sassy, closeted zoo veterinarian?" It's the part I was born to play, baby!

Doctor Handsome, it probably would be a still fuck. Especially if it was during her post-martini nap.

Orange is this year's yellow-orange.

She's my little Tamilcrush

Is there a reason
This reads like preteen unicorn furry fanfic?

It's because Furiousity Knows No Limits!
Nor does fastness!

Lots Of Dogs!
HA! What a cute little Yooper accent. I could listen to her say "bucket count" all day. It's a shame she almost got her cute little finger on the nuclear button, there. I think this really shows where her true talents lie…. Hockey calling is a skill that few can master, and she needs to get back and…

Just what we need
A tornado with a back-story.
Turns out, he was beat up by all the other tornadoes at school! That's why he became such a loner. Still, he was a quiet kid, always kept to himself. That is, until that Missouri incident. Now he's out on parole… thanks a shitload, Gov. Huckabee.

Excuse me, Director?
Could I please replace my cannoli? Ba-da-BING!

Have the Rolling Stones killed!

Wow.
This exists. Still.
It's like seeing a pile of dismembered organs try to put on a one-man show.

He means he gets his "kicks" from getting "kicked" (i.e. fucked) in the ass. Like all the ass-kicking kids today.

Otto: You mean your folks have other products we should be aware of?
I would be interested in seeing a line of "Don't Suck" talent, if you have a catalog.

According to Scripture
The meek must also be sacrificed in order to inherit the Earth.
Just a thought.

Little-known cause of the remaining 25% of mall stampedes…
Just think "Autographed Richard Petty Oil Painting" and you're getting warm.

New bar put-down:
"I wouldn't fuck her with Papa John's dick!"