somehow, this is…
a batshit insane idea yet not at all surprising

Kill Family Guy, keep American Dad
American Dad is coming out on top again and again in my book on Sunday nights just because it's so completely out there. "Family Guy" is basically a real sitcom family in a cruel MacFarlane world, so the trashy jokes feel like awkward moments instead. It's like a homeless crazy guy…

Not metal until your penis-head forms Gigeresque eyes and a mouth and chews its way out of your American Eagles.

The world is marginally a better place because Creed and Nickelback are reduced to preying off of each other for the remaining 49.8% of Americans who are indeed douchebags but don't recognize Staind as their ruler.

Hot AC?
Wait… where's the DC part?

In related news,
Aerosmith left with Steven Tyler.

More like fallen, rotting fruits.

Scrooge McDuck had all his assets stored in a freaking building filled with 3 cubic acres of coinage. That's pretty liquid, if you ask me. Plus, he could dive around in it, instead of crushing his bones on the solid mass of metal, which makes it even more liquid.

What about when I happen to walk by kids on the sidewalk? Am I a People With Kids then?

I hear they have some kind of monster, like Godzilla, but crappier. You might wanna check him out.

What about Long Island? Do they have a film genre?
Fish-Out-Of-Water Bootlegger Pool Murder Comedy?

Hey, it takes a sausage fest to make an Oktoberfest every now and then!

The Minotaur is pretty hot, though

Excuse me while I whip out my Deck of Many Things (both Beneficial and Baneful)

OK… that's lame
A monster movie where the monster is a freaking statue? I want my $1.99 back.
"Don't get too close to the statue! It breathes fire, you know! So.. stay, like, 5 feet away at least, and you'll be OK."

Actually, Rob Skanks is a pretty good porno actor.

The game's head is dead, Zed.

Shucks, that ain't gay rednecks…
We just call that a down-home, old-fashioned "2nd Saturday Bath Day" here in Georgia!

Wait.. if we all become prostitutes, then who's gonna be the clients? Something's gotta give…..

These guys put the "Super Freak" in Freakonomics!