The gay porn version: Hands on a Body's Hard-On.

re: The Weather Channel Music
I bought the first album, but I threw it away. Every track sounded just like a train.

Her fleshy exoskeleton is made of pure palm oil

I'm kinda glad we don't have a product called "Golden Hydrox" because that just sounds like something a James Bond supervillain would fuel his nuclear missile with.

Man… eatin' warthog bunghole is SERIOUSLY scraping the bottom of the barrel… down at the ass-end of the animal, the alphabet, and the planet all at once.

Blessing and a Curse is a great album too, it's 2nd on my list just below Southern Rock Opera… Dirty South is neck and neck for 2nd though

Duggars better be growin' some Duggar-Dugs to suckle this litter!
Yeah, you heard me right. Plural! Men can lactate too, given enough access to Oxygen and Lifetime!

Creation Museum? Isn't that Mama's uterus?

Holy Toledo.

In my part of the South
this would be classified as a "WTF?"
I've seen plenty of pickled eggs, but no Kool-Aided pickles.
Now, CANCERAIDS pickles, on the other hand, are pretty common.

What happens
when Mrs. Duggar becomes a Cougar?

"teevee"?
Ugh… that really bothers me.
Like "aeroplane."
It's "TV", folks. Check the AP style guide.
Crotchety bastard out.

But does it offer a coherent moral plan one can abide by?
Like, for instance, "Thou shalt pour a forty for thy shortie"?

It's not a bad concept…
Nicole Simpson could have used one, knowwhuddamean?

As Shakespeare said…
All life is a four-quadrant play,
And we all are merely players!
Her targets and acts being four,
First, the young male wants explosions,
The old in his wake wants inspiration,
The virginal females need romance
Whilst menopause dries up the increase…

I'll man the grassy knoll, hand me my blunderbuss

"No, I am the poet O'Neal! I am the poet!"

"Yeah… funerals… kinda makes you feel like fucking, doesn't it? I know, kid. I been there."

Observe, students:
the thespian is at a metaphorical "end" of the continent, and is standing on the "end" of the cliff, as he attains his "climactic realization" which forms the "peak" of the "arc."
Discuss this scene in the context of the Doors song, "The End."
Consider how the end of the continent, California,…

There are so many ways to parse the un-punctuated sentence "What Are You Looking At Sugartits," that I have been blissfully distracted from the sudden TV apparition of Joan Rivers' froglike corpse mouth. Huzzah!