Syfy: The Syphilis Channel
A noble format change… but I question its entertainment value. (However, I heard they acquired rights to the next season of Rock of Love.)

He was referring to your FAILED first. Not to mention your disingenuous disavowal of same which earns a further fail medal

ALL ANIMALS
ARE ATTACKING ALL HUMANS!

I'm just happy to be in this platoon carryin' Haterade, Sergeant.

I humbly accept my fail just as any conquered race must bow to its Ant Overlords.

Only until the bodies are carried off and the fires are put out. Then everyone goes back home.

even better would be
"No Apology from Chris Brown yet"

Ken Burns
was best with Civil War. Anything beyond his first documentary sucked though

For the record, as for Jessi's vag, my dick never came into it

Race to Brendan Fraser's Career
BAM!

OK I'll bite
Is there a place for people who don't really care one way or another about Twitter? Who think it's no big deal, just a way to do facebook status without the rest of the Facebook crap? If so, I'll be there. Save a seat for me.

If this whole thing is a put-on..
It would help if any of it was funny.. or challenged our consensus reality.. or shocked anyone… or was somehow entertaining. Instead it's really the "meh" of show business put-ons.
You can almost hear the lack of interest… it's like the sound of paint drying.

Don't forget Timberlake's recurring role
… as sole provider of actual comedic performing talent to the ongoing "Make Jimmy Fallon Happen Somehow" project

Come on, it's not that bad once you get used to it. Once you've gazed deeply into the high-contrast neck wattles of Keith Richards from any Rolling Stones photo shoot since 1965… and YES, that abyss does gaze back.

"you're supposed to stop the microwave once the bag is inflated."
Strangely enough, this also applies to your aorta after you eat them.

… and you realized your bank account had been mysteriously drained not long after, correct?

They could build a giant shark that fellates people!

Cincinnatus: As long as it provides an un-ironic orgasm.

I remember that one.. "King of Reams, Part III"

wow, i lost my hard-on. Is this why I shouldn't talk economics during sex?